My Spiritual Ego - Morning pages einer Erwachenden

  The wind of change brought the season of manifestation back up twirling into my life. Not quietly, not slowly but with a Big Bang and an emotional roller coaster everything changed inside and out throughout the twist and turns of a single day.  Waking up exhausted mentally and physically torturing questions in my mind, the feeling of being used, misunderstood and taken advantage of without the chance of receiving the gratitude and appreciation of what I’ve been here for over the last weeks, the deep notion of being treated unfairly, I carry my heavy heart through my body outside. My mom, the voice I needed giving me guidance, the hand that holds mine, the finger me the right direction as I cannot find decisions on my own. I finally break free, running off into freedom. But this shall only have been the beginning. As we hang up the phone the night before manifesting our dreams for the future the true magic starts unraveling the same minute. Going to bed in pain carrying the w...

 It’s late. A beautiful day that reminded me of where I am in this world had ended, so I thought. I lie in bed, the lights just turned off, ready to take off into dreamland. But no, the Universe had a different plan. Just when I’m getting cozy, suddenly my bed starts shaking. I move around, get up, my throat feels tight, my heart is pounding. Slowly I get out from my bed, turn on the light, pull back the curtain, look outside, was the earth shaking? Am I going mad? Is someone in the house? Do I have something living under my bed? My thoughts go wild as I feel like locking the doors, not knowing what’s happening. How did I get here… As I am walking back home the streets of Tbilsi I’m thinking of cake and sparkles as once and so often. Receiving a message from a yet unknown person announcing to me that he’s waiting for me with chocolate cake and champagne I end up dancing my heart out, my stomach filled with too much cream cake, sparkles and a deep sense of happiness I haven’t felt i...