And suddenly my World was shaking

 It’s late. A beautiful day that reminded me of where I am in this world had ended, so I thought. I lie in bed, the lights just turned off, ready to take off into dreamland. But no, the Universe had a different plan. Just when I’m getting cozy, suddenly my bed starts shaking. I move around, get up, my throat feels tight, my heart is pounding. Slowly I get out from my bed, turn on the light, pull back the curtain, look outside, was the earth shaking? Am I going mad? Is someone in the house? Do I have something living under my bed? My thoughts go wild as I feel like locking the doors, not knowing what’s happening. How did I get here…

As I am walking back home the streets of Tbilsi I’m thinking of cake and sparkles as once and so often. Receiving a message from a yet unknown person announcing to me that he’s waiting for me with chocolate cake and champagne I end up dancing my heart out, my stomach filled with too much cream cake, sparkles and a deep sense of happiness I haven’t felt in a while. Feeling free, loved, connected in an unexpected night. As I will be honored the next day by these two new hearts expressing their gratitude for my positive presence as I have felt theirs.

The stream of synchronicity following me into the next day when you pick me up, a promising day of history and culture of my favorite land ahead as I’ve missed it for a some time. As I will only later understand information that you provide me throughout our time together will reconnect in the cycle of life later on that night. 

As we start the trip I t doesn’t take you long to buy me the first treat. Nazuki, only have I heard of it but never tried, you bring me a bag with two big fresh pieces and my favorite lemonade. Not to forget the chocolate and gummies. You know. I feel like a little girl, on her special day, getting everything she wants as I put the first piece of the cinnamon raisin bread into my mouth, enjoying the flavors slowly emerging in my mouth. Breakfast on the road.

As you show me around monuments, the Soviet buildings, the church in your village, your vineyard, the abandoned buildings, you share with me your thoughts about  your future, building a house, growing wine, making cheese. Soon we enter your aunt’s shop. Her energy is warm, open and welcoming. You introduce me and command me to grab anything I wish and take it with us. I can’t stop laughing as you fill more bags with cakes, chocolates and all kinds of colorful candy, grabbing a second lemonade from the fridge. That’s the one. Cream. After taking more cake than I could eat in a week I  once more I feel like a princess on her birthday. After stopping by your uncle’s house I find myself stacked up with eggs and bottles of my favorite drink in the world. Fresh sparkling wine from your cellar, Georgian Prosecco. Having tried a glass next to the big bottles, my heart starts opening up as you will say to me later. It’s true. Feeling distant and close at the same time, I find myself in between when you thank me for sharing my thoughts, my heart maybe, my fragility, my uncertainty, my fears. I get a warm feeling in my stomach. It seems after all you’re not completely detached from my nature. Every now and then you allow me a glimpse into your true self, when it’s safe. I’m grateful. 

After circling around some more, greeting the German village, you bring me and all my goodies back to what I call home as the sun has come down. You join me for one drink to share some more of you as I finish the bottle, feeling tipsy slowly you close with an insight that the next days may decide over your near future. As I wasn’t aware of the tension in our neighboring countries it puts me into shock hearing how threatening your current situation is. You shared this wonderful day with me, knowing that there may be big danger ahead of you, not mentioning it for a second, only making sure I was being taken care of. Just a few hours later I will have my mom on the phone making me understand how precarious the situation really is. I get goosebumps, I’m cold, it’s crawling through my bones. The world is shaking. Literally. 

Only a few minutes after I thought I had a ghost under my bed, scared in the dark like a child in a Horror movie. Suddenly my phone is ringing, after a few seconds of confused hesitation I pick up. It’s my friend. He can’t see me, I haven’t turned on the light again. He hasn’t spoken to me in a while as things became difficult. „Lina, are you ok?“ Slowly I move out of my bed. What’s going on? I’m irritated, can’t process what’s happening. „Did you feel the earth shaking???“ a huge rock is dropping from my heart. I’m not mad, I don’t have a ghost under my bed. We talk for a few minutes as he finishes the call „if you need anything, let me know“. My whole body feels like I freshly come out of a heart attack as his girlfriend writes me to check up on me to see if I wanted to come to her house in case I was scared. Two voices from the last weeks returning, tonight. Back. A wild mix of confusion, shock, care, love and gratitude moving through me. I remember how you told me today why the old brickstones of the houses of Sakartvelo were made so flat. They’re more stable in earthquakes you said. And there it was out of nowhere in the darkest hour. 

This day becoming longer than foreseen, filled with unexpected excitement connecting the dots after what feels like a long  time, putting me in my place. 

When I wake up asking for our world was shaking you tell me not to be scared. My precious, my darling, I’m taking your fear away only after joking about it. Hot and cold. Close and distant as from the first time I saw you. You could see my heart, I didn’t know, I can see yours too. Sometimes it’s hard to feel it but it’s shining and I’m happy you motivated me to come with you, taking my hand to get a little glimpse of what it may be when I wasn’t sure. 

Cleaning my shaken bed the universe makes sure to send me yet another message as not to be afraid of our trembling world:

*~Be fearless. 

Live in the moment. 

Enjoy the adventure.~*