LIMBO
Not having written in months I feel blank. No urge to put anything on 'paper'. Empty space everywhere I look. The rush of the last weeks slowly ebbing away. As fast as the wave came over me the same fast it was crashing down on me. Without even having the time to process what was coming over me. Like a dream. Coming at night and leaving in the morning. As if it didn't happen. The same manipulation I know so well, the gaslighting, the evidence of trauma reappearing as protection mechanisms to stay in power, control, use people for their own purposes. Using me. Gaslighting me. Taking all my good, my dedication and care for his own good. A jungle of red flags, waving right at me from the first time we meet. From the first time we start getting into arguments, discussions. I feel a deep sense of truth, of clarity. I know this feeling. He's not listening, he's twisting all of my words, making everything coming out of my mouth about himself. I am not allowed to speak my...