* L°O°V°E*

Love. Seems like the entire world has written on this topic and still no one can really find a definition for it. At least not one that makes everyone happy or is even possible to be put into the true meaning through language. I will of course not try to do that either. All I am trying to do is to put down my thoughts and feelings that have been growing and developing inside of me over the past weeks.

More and more often the topic of unconditional love has arisen in my life over the past months, leaving behind my life in Berlin with all these people I love so much and who love me. But the feeling I had when I was about to leave was a different feeling of love than I have had all these years before. It had not just changed or grown but through transition transformed into a shape of love that I hadn't experienced before. It would move me to tears again and again when I connected to it imagining the people in front of my inner eye living through the moments repeatedly when they told me how much they loved me always and with all I was at all times, endlessly, unconditionally for I was, who I am and who I want to be. Loving me for everything I am. Good or bad, no opinions because it's part of be it is a part to love.

So I started calling it unconditional love as I felt this was the true natural, free, only real love there is. And so do many spiritual teachers, philosophers or psychologists. UNCONDITIONAL. Under any circumstance, limitless in all times, as an energy floating around in the Universe. And this is really only what it is. Our own true being, our energetic beings of love. The interconnection of our true beings. From love to love. Without restrictions because in love there is no restrictions. I cannot just love parts of someone because only can you connect in love to love, from love. And in that is your whole being.

What really started distracting me is the term "unconditional". The more I thought about it the more unnatural it appeared to me as it suggests that there is a kind of love that is not unconditional. Thus it hints that we must have become alienated of the meaning of the word love before. An intrinsic alienation. What else is it then that we understand using the word Love if it's not its Unconditional Nature?

Now when I think about the word LOVE it seems like a wrongdoing putting the attribute "unconditional" in front of it because that's the inherent nature of the word itself. It makes no sense at all anymore. It is like saying an "ideal perfection" or  "a black night" or  "a human person". It could serve as an emphasis on the meaning but I find it very sad to believe that it could add something extra to the meaning of love. 

Every other way we use the term "love" is an alienation of its inherent nature. Having started to think about it I felt this strong urge of clarifying our definition of love, my definition of love. I became very sad trying to get to the source of this misunderstanding of the meaning of love. I realize more and more how I have learned growing up that there is always some sort condition attached to being loved, being worthy of receiving love. From as long as I can think there were certain ideas attached to how I could be better, how I could serve better, how I could make my parents, friends, teachers, colleagues happier when I only adjusted my behavior, my character, my doings, even my looks just a bit more to the expectations of people around me. Dress differently at work, please people around me by giving them attention, baking cookies, cleaning, whatever it is, forgetting myself over it when it became too much at some points. I wasn't really able anymore to differentiate between my own desires, what I needed and what were the wishes, expectations and demands of others towards me. Trying to fulfill these expectations half my life in order receive the attention, the love that I was longing for so strongly I seem to have forgotten where I came from, why I was doing the things I did, feeling the way I felt, living my life the way I do. It kind of became foggy, my mind became clouded unable to find my own intrinsic realm of well being anymore.

I strongly believe that I am not the only one experiencing this confusion, these transitions, transformations, shifts of the feeling of love. There surely is a reason why we have decided to use the attribute "unconditional" on top of the meaning of love because we were missing something in how we have been using it before.

I could dive endlessly deep into that topic but I feel I don't need to because I think most of us do have an understanding, do have their own pains of not having felt enough, having been attached to the idea that we have to achieve something, to arise into something more than we are to be worthy of receiving love, that we are not enough the way we are. Well from where I am standing right now I see it like this: Only unconditional love is true love. We all are whole and complete the way we were born, the way we were, the way we are, the way we want to be, the way we will be. We are the energy of pure love. That is our being and therefore we are all worthy of love all the time at each moment in our lives. To get there we may all try to do our best of finding the path back to our inherent nature. Live it, become it, be it. Give it, receive it, share it. In compassion and deep understanding of where we came from.

 

~° LIFE IS THE FLOW OF LOVE. LIVE IT. ENJOY IT. BE IT.°~