Our divine source of decision making

Why we would like to be parents. An attempt of looking into the desire of bringing new life into this world. 

This is for a person who has become part of me in the speed of light. Thank you Nacho for making me go into this topic a bit deeper to reflect on my own nature of decision making. 

Natural instinct or society formed life model based on one of the deepest human desires and fight for survival? What are the reasons for us to bring more children into this world when clearly there are more than enough already at this point in time? What is truly moving us  to bring more people into this world? 

Many children are homeless, starving, dying of hunger each day, not having a roof over their head or caring parents not to mention all these young creatures having to live as orphans. Ethically we probably all can find enough reasons for not bringing more children into this world that is already overloaded with problems of all kinds, burdened with environmental, political and social issues leading into people dying each and every day including children. 

Living a relatively free independent life in the Western hemisphere where these issues are not on the daily menu but rather what kind of TV I wish to buy, where I want to travel next or when my partner and me will get married, having a baby still is a standard model of a modern family of 2021. 

Over the past years the question of why it may be a good idea to have a child arouse more and more often inside of me. For myself to answer that question using society as a mirror of what is with friends and myself slowly getting to the age of where we're supposed to have children, my mom asking, more and more friends settling with their partners and begin to build families of their own. For me the question of having children on my own has evoked different feelings inside of me for quite some time. Over the past years though my answer remained relatively stable. 

Considering all the moral and ethical factors I couldn't imagine having children on my own without being able to at least adopt one that's already brought into this world, much rather would I save many more. On the other hand, being a woman, having the ability of giving birth to a new human being, bringing a new life into this world seems like the most miraculous act that nature could perform and I have the chance to be part of it, experiencing a life growing inside my own body bringing it into the light of day. That only being said as the biological process excluding what we may feel, our emotions, the psychological and personal aspecs of the matter.

The more people l ask for their reasons of having children, the more empty faces I see, the more reasons I get that are not of personal nature but cultural or social. Focused to the outside world but not our own inside. Bringing on external factors as of what is expected of us as a social norm or selfish reasons like wanting to take care of someone, seeing a small human being growing up, simply choosing to have a family of your own. A beautiful reason I hear more and more often is the urge to extend the ethical and moral values we have to the new generation to ensure a better world, making a change, to form a community that will support the planet. 

All these reasons may be valid reasons for reproduction but then I would ask the question of why it ought to be our own blood. For that question I find it hard to find any reason that is not particularly selfish. 

Often it was brought to me especially by males (I do not want to stereotype this is only from my experience) that they have the inner desire to give their own genetics to the next generation, women sometimes mention the physical experience of a pregnancy that they don't want to miss out on. Apart from that the idea of looking into the eyes of your child seeing yourself in them like a mirror, something you've created seems to be attractive for many. It seems if you didn't achieve anything you've at least created a new human being. Having a mini me, a new possibly improved version of yourself. Is this love? 

For some people the thought of extending our love to a child appears to be a noble thought. At the same time I'm asking myself whether or not we are able to love everyone the same way? Unconditionally as we would love to make believe ourselves. Wouldn't it in that case already be a condition that the person we love must have the same blood running through their veins? Can we not love another child that was put on this planet by other people the same way? Does not every human being deserve the same un­conditional love and if we do all agree on that idea then why again will we not rather take in a child that is already here?

I keep questioning myself about the reasons for motherhood, fatherhood, parenthood in general. Writing this I am just realizing the actual question I'm asking myself for any life changing decision I make is: "Will my decision make this world a better place?". If the answer is no I see no reason to do it. 

All reasons for making decisions whether it's having children or drinking coffee, going travelling or staying home are valid as we all are different in all different ways. Therefore the true question to any decision really is: What is your personal motivation? What is your vision in life? Depending on what we feel our purpose in life is the answer to our questions will be very different as well. Maybe in the end we can all break it down to one question for any decision we make: 

What am I living for? What do I want to see manifested in the world? What do I want my legacy to be? 

Going to my own internal source of decision making before rushing into what appears to be a casual act. For me it mostly is coming back to one and the same question: What could be the value for our world? Is it supporting my vision of a happy world? Surely that doesn't mean I only do things that are of value to the world but I try to take it into consideration for the things I do.