The Cycle of Life

Getting into the Tuktuk together, down the bumpy jungle road, jumping up and down, the four of us girls at least wanting to connect after having spent four days together in silence. The worldly part. Arriving on the one road with two tiny shops, the monkeys throwing mangos at us from the trees. 

Back to reality. Not yet. As there is no one capable of changing our 5000 bills, we sit at the bus stop talking waiting for the next bus to Kandy, drinking a coconut, exchanging travel and life details. 

Two busses passing us, we have time. Our mind is quite. Not empty, too short was the time but still, aware. Awareness. The word that can change your whole life once you understand practicing it. The next bus stops. The four of us with our big backpacks, jumping on it, squeezing ourselves in as the driver gets going directly into the needle bends, throwing us around in the bus while we’re still trying to get rid of our bags. I have to laugh. The Singhalis trying to hold me, catching my arm while I make my way to the back of the bus to the last row where I’m sitting my arms tied together, my shoulders too wide for the number of people fitting the back seat. The guy next to me, sleeping. My heart happy and relaxed. 

The last days given me some new understandings, insights on the mind, the ego and how to make our mind our friend, use it for our will instead of becoming the tool of this powerful master and elaborated problem generator. 

Never have I understood that the current situation I’m in was once the solution for a situation before, now becoming a new problem. The mind is a genius in its creative game that only human beings have limitless needs, ideas, cravings and wishes never to be fulfilled, making us suffer, attached and restless for no reason. 

As I’m bumping up and down in the backseat, one of the most insightful metaphors our meditation teacher and monk told us, comes back to me. “Is the mind good or bad? How is it to be regarded, what to do with it?” Was the question one of us asked. He says: “Well, the mind is neither good or bad. It’s a vehicle, an empty vehicle with many functions and tools”. 

We’re passing by numerous beautiful temples through the green hills and palm trees. It’s not even 11. We took our time. Waking up at 5am has its advantages. Getting to other places in the first half of the day as I imagine this bus being my mind. A mind can be filled with many passengers as just a big crowd got off the mind, as our mind can be preoccupied with many thoughts (like most of the time). The actions depend on the driver. We pass by another temple. The people next to me fold their hands. When the ego is driving the bus, only suffering can arise. The one thing the ego tries to do is control. Control everything. Owning everything. “My friend, my house, my dream, my life.” Even feelings. “My sadness, my pain, my heart, my love”. It wants to own and wants to be owned. Two sides of the same coin as we find them anywhere. Light can’t exist without the darkness. As the two of them explicitly are different and implicitly the same. So the only way to understand and work with our mind and let kindness, peace and selflessness be the drivers of our vehicle is to shine the light of awareness on it. Watch our thoughts, become the observers. Instead of being the slaves and prisoners, the actors within our own movie without having control over it, we can watch it. Once you look at the projector, your mind, you don’t need to be an unconscious part of the play anymore. You have the power of choice what to do with your thoughts. Which one to give power to. Who you make the driver, the master of your mind instead of being the tool of it. Just ask yourself “who is hurting? Who is craving? Who is helpless, lost, in pain?” I am going through feelings, I am experiencing feelings but does that make them ME? “I am sad, I am hurt”. Is that so? 

The clock slowly is approaching 11:11 as we are approaching our new destination. 

Getting to our accommodation we are still in the same flow. Slowly settling in this beautiful garden, drinking coffee, going into our amazing luxurious room, unpacking. Feels like home already. Laundry. Off to the city. Fully energetic. One step after another, walking by the beautiful lake surrounded by nature. We arrive in the city. The first person recommends us a rice and curry place. Our never ending love for this food. 200 Rupis. We live like queens. Unfairly for others to suffer. We try to give back. Exploring the city we fall into an excessive shopping rush until we can’t carry no more. Fruits, clothes, cakes, beers, street food. Endless. Exhausted and looking forward to our beer we fall into the next Tuktuk taking us back after an energetic city experience following the  days in silence. Packed with food and chocolates for the night. Maybe days. 

Reconnecting in some ways to the outside world, still integrating of what’s behind us and will be with us for the rest of our journey. That never ending journey called life.