My Spiritual Ego - Morning pages einer Erwachenden

 A new Day. I wake up before 5. Again. Too early. Going to bed after my first body opening, my body feels restless despite the aching muscles and the exercise. As always I start with my little rituals into this beautiful new day in my beautiful new clean home. I watch the sun rise behind the mountains, light up an incense and set up some flowers that the previous person has left next to the incense. Only a bit later I shall get fresh ones dedicated to me. The place is beautiful. Everything I need, I have. Euphoria is catching me in every detail. The hanging pink neon light, the window front and all the tiny things the girl has left behind that are just the things I need. I'm dancing with joy. The flow and magic from last year, only meters away from my old place. Maybe it's the energy of this place like some of my new friends have suggested as well seeing all the synchronicities happening around me, for me just my sister last year. It's visible. I grab a few bags and go to t...

 Tulsi. That place. My favorite. From the beginning until today. The social bubble. Finding myself sitting there with my travel companion with a large plate of veggies and tofu and a green juice in front of me, I feel so happy and fulfilled like I haven't in a long time. After only 24 hours back here the flow has been uninterrupted beautiful. Despite my food poisoning from the 20 hour train ride, my weakness, exhaustion and tiredness, I feel completely blissful from my heart into my veins and organs and muscles right under my skin, radiating it to the outside. Arriving in the morning the day before I rest most of the day except for a short walk around the community, showing my friend some places and welcoming mother Ganga. Dropping off my gift for my teacher, introducing her to his classes, circling back around and into bed to get a good night sleep. As the Universe wants I am not completely recovered the next morning and have to cancel my first class. Going outside to get some fru...

  In just there the midst of the turmoil, in the busiest city of all the sacred temples, I sit down on the stone stairs in the shade, finally having my phone work, reconnected to the external world and everything is good. Just like that. I sit down to just for a moment breathe and integrate all that’s been happening. With me, to me, for me. I have somehow come to a state of surrender. To a state where I don’t want anything from this place, from this country or from these people. I just want to be. I just am. Here. Four days that feel as if weeks have passed. Four days of taking buses, cars, trains, Autos, walking, pushing, screaming, crying, short moments of joy and gratitude and everything in between.  The journey from country to country challenging me in expected and unexpected ways.  Twenty hours later. I'm in the train. Upper bed under the ceiling, 20 hours of train ride ahead. Hopefully my last journey in a train for some time. At least in this country. Hopefully my ...