Full Power Social Shower

 Tulsi. That place. My favorite. From the beginning until today. The social bubble. Finding myself sitting there with my travel companion with a large plate of veggies and tofu and a green juice in front of me, I feel so happy and fulfilled like I haven't in a long time. After only 24 hours back here the flow has been uninterrupted beautiful. Despite my food poisoning from the 20 hour train ride, my weakness, exhaustion and tiredness, I feel completely blissful from my heart into my veins and organs and muscles right under my skin, radiating it to the outside.

Arriving in the morning the day before I rest most of the day except for a short walk around the community, showing my friend some places and welcoming mother Ganga. Dropping off my gift for my teacher, introducing her to his classes, circling back around and into bed to get a good night sleep.

As the Universe wants I am not completely recovered the next morning and have to cancel my first class. Going outside to get some fruit and curt as I'm becoming hungry, I run into my first friend from the year before. I haven't seen or spoken to him in all this time. We're hugging each other, exchanging numbers as I smilingly return to my place where my tiny Spanish friend is using the stove. Having planned to go to the beginners class together for me to slowly prepare my body, I also have to cancel that as my body is already punishing me with abrupt headache pains and darkness in front of my eyes when I move up from my bed. Also it doesn't really want to keep all the food inside. Defeated by my own body. I acknowledge the situation for what it is, give in to my tiredness and go back to bed. Scrolling through the endless offers of retreats, courses and events I see one that catches my eye and message the number. The girl behind it surprisingly knows me. Also she shares some info with me that without her knowledge I was looking for for some days to make a decision concerning other yoga classes as she takes classes with the same teachers that I do. And so without knowing she's taken off some decision making of me, making more space for all the other activities I would love to join once I've recovered. 

These little details of connections and how things solve themselves once you surrender and let go, this flow of interpersonal connections and community around here starts tingling back into my system, bringing back a feeling that I had forgotten all about. A feeling that I had carried in my heart from last year and yet had lost a month ago when I left because this place had started turning around on me, becoming a pressure as a heavy burden on my shoulders. It had turned into that deep feeling of no belonging and having no community but only shallow human beings who are trying to sell courses to all the lost souls turning it into a competition of who is doing more for their trauma healing. Feeling the excited joy again, where magic is happening all around all day, gives me rush of energy to go outside for some food.

When my tiny Mexican returns from yoga class I feel like going to my favorite place to get some veggies and fresh juices. I feel the urgent need of refueling my body with vitamins in deep hope that my body will accept the gifts. When we're grabbing our things, our host catches us asking us a favor to take some pictures for him. We agree while getting our stuff together as he's asking about the place. I'm laughing and tell him that it is extremely dirty and that it looks like no one has cleaned the bathroom or surfaces, since this house was built but that I really didn't care as I was only here for two days. My little girl is breaking out in loud laughter touching my shoulder. I love you. I really love you. Oh my god. As we've talked about it the day before I knew how much she was struggling with the topic and I didn't mind to mention it.

Once the shoot is finished we go outside just as the Giver of Happiness my friend from last year is texting what I'm up to which needs no answer as we're running into him only minutes later. He tells us he will be joining once he's handed out some flyers. One second later we run into my tattoo friend who is again connecting different stories and places that I'm telling her about. And so we keep on walking as I am full of social energy, making connections, sharing connections and places with my friend. Telling her about all the different courses and people and places. After saying hi to another friend in a cafe, our giver of happiness is already back. By now not only I but also she feels the pull, the gravitation of this place and its energy building bridges and connections everywhere. From being drained, frustrated and upset about certain aspects of the Indian culture she starts shining and smiling and dancing, radiating the same happiness that I feel inside despite my weak physical state.

Once we arrive I go to order the our juices and the veggies I need so much when... I see basically everyone I had mentioned to her sitting on the tables around me. First my most admired acrobatic girl from between Nepal and Rishikesh who has partially been involved the hardship of my last days journey, sitting here, seeing her for the second time only in person, when big shares of our paths have been similar. She hugs me, we chat shortly, I tell her that I'd be glad to join her course once I feel better. In another corner the person for pranayama and on my way back from ordering I see out of the corner of my eye our most regular Master M. My energy keeps rising up. Here we are in this place and it seems like nothing has changed. Like the universe is reminding me of all the great connections I've made here and how everything is always falling into place. I sit down and like a child in a candy store I tell her about everyone who's there and who I've met. Only minutes later my fantastic N by nature is bringing me my green juice, making me super giggly as the food also comes unexpectedly fast with the words 'Here you go Guru Ji Full Power'. As if he knows exactly how badly I need nourishment along with these words right now. Recognition. It feels good to know the people, the people welcoming me back and asking where I've been.

My girl the same excited about the beautiful place and glad I haven't promised too much she starts a photo shoot. Surrounded by all the green, I feel life couldn't be better. Everyone and everything here for me now. My mom texting me if I'm ok, in this moment Master M slowly approaching my table, chanting. I hug him, he holds me for a good amount of time as he keeps chanting. I feel like my body and soul needs exactly that. It feels soothing and healing as he holds me. Telling me to rest and listen to my body, noticing, be aware where my weakness is coming from. And sure enough that is not a secret and hard to overlook for anyone who knows what I've been through throughout the last week(s).

It feels like it's all coming back together here. Arriving drained, partially frustrated, broken and tired, exhausted on so many levels for so many days peaking into my body giving in, I finally sit here in my favorite spot, this peaceful and nourishing place where I've built so many connections, replenishing, refueling, reconnecting, resetting, restoring, refilling ... Returning. To myself. Through others. Happy and full. Renewal. 

Having another boosting Ginger lemonade that luckily my body is also accepting as a gift, we're leaving back to our place, running into just another of my companions in the Nepal Rishikesh journey promising each other to meet up to talk about our experiences. A completely complete afternoon that has brought joy and light back into my heart. Making it a tiny bit easier for me to accept my bed for a few more hours and the patience to rest in joyful expectation for the next days to come. Feeling home, feeling welcome, instead of overwhelmed.