My Spiritual Ego - Morning pages einer Erwachenden

  „Love your force, this power. Go your way. Keep it up“ she’s mildly smiling at me. „You don’t know what it means to me that I met you. You helped me so much.“ I come home to find this on my pillow. The meeting of truly special people on your travel journey is the most amazing thing. It makes the goodbyes so much eatsier as when you leave them, you leave them more whole than when you met. To meet and connect with someone so deeply. They teach you how to connect with yourself and you share ideas about life and love and suddenly you feel they help you to come home to yourself so deeply. This thoughtfulness and unconditional giving is something we should all seek to give to ourselves and to others. Thank you Lina.   I’m so happy I’ve met her. She put in words how I felt finally having a friend who sees my heart as well.  Other voices from women I’ve met on my way tell me the same thing, only minutes apart.  „Sending you love dear! You’re definitely a powerful forc...

I wanted to put this young man in the new chapter Himachal Pradesh for a new beginning of being seen and cared for. A fresh start, a clean slate. Now I want to put him back into Ladakh and I will as he turned out to be ignorant, unreflective and disrespectful towards me and my feelings as the other ones, on a deeper, more subconscious level of protecting himself and his ego.   Looking at his serious face, rarely crossing a smile let alone a laugh I’m wondering if this is his self perception of cool, strong and mature.  Moving alongside him for only two days whereas one we spent tied together in a car, pushed it fast forward from zero to landing in each other’s arms. Before that night he wasn’t even in my presence, I was completely preoccupied with myself, no space for more drama, more emotional abuse. Sitting in the car together for a 13 hour ride, I realized how attentive he was, working around me, always asking me if I needed something, if I was comfortable, buying water and...

Sitting in a local car, on the way back from our babytrek. Hopping into the first car before even having passed through the whole village. Reaching our final destination, after four hours of going through the desert, winds, sun and mountains, a man enthusiastically    waving at us, opening a gate, all the family sitting above in front of the house, having a prayer celebration, inviting us exuberantly excited for chai, snacks and home made wine. Wine. I haven’t seen alcohol since I got to Ladakh. I’ve dreamed about it the night before. We need it. We deserve it. We’re hungry and tired. We’re laughing, taking pictures, the family is so hospitable we can’t believe our luck. Happily we pursue the last meters before the first car leaving the village, picks us up to our final destination. It’s still early. Everything is running smoothly. I told her, my connection is strong that day. Has she expressed all sorts of concerns about money, hitching and rain during the hike, have I mildly...