My Spiritual Ego - Morning pages einer Erwachenden

“I wrote you a poem” he says, just like that.  And she wondered what made her special. She knew she just can't settle Even Exploring enternity was her will For the answer that was always uphill. Oneday on her way up she came across A lake calming her as a sailor coming ashore After days of Reckless quest with no map Closing in the gap As soon as she looked into the water Widespread water walked her home Those shifting sighs Stood still on those deep eyes The talismanic treasure was immortal One that even acted as a portal To the mysteries of her soul Integrating up everything that is not in whole. Lina, if millions loved you than I am one of them, and even if only one loved you, then it was me and if no one loved you than know that I am dead.  Those eyes my world 🥺 The way your upper lip lays on the lower giving a pure smile and a sensation deep in my core.  Magic follows you wherever you go Making streets,stages and sages your admirers.  I love this energy of yours...

Being in my personal prison in transit to move to the next great freedom, he asks me if we could speak.    I say yes. I’m not sure I mean it. My mind so full, so chaotic I wouldn’t know what to say. Not to him anyway in this fresh state of getting to know each other, yet feeling like we deeply do; being the source of my overwhelmingly fizzy feelings.   On my way to Nepal, almost - he wants to come. „Do you want me to come?“. Do I want him to come? This question is much harder to answer than a phone call which has already been my personal challenge. I sense a familiar feeling. I hold myself back saying either yes or no. Where is this feeling coming from? I will understand the next morning when my heart finally puts all the bits and pieces together.   „You cannot ask me that. That’s on you. I’ll leave this to your mind“. I’m laughing but this time I know I mean it.   Too much to grasp. I feel like a madwoman. What’s happening? And in what world? Fro...

  „Mam how did you like the lunch Mam?“. I smile. Even after almost four weeks I cannot get used to this kindness. I smile. „Do you have a banana?“. He smiles and points me the hanging bananas. „How many do you want Mam? No one is not enough. You have to at least take two.“ Second last day before I’m leaving this place for the first time, what’s been one curing month of learning and growing. A month trying to teach me that I’m always cared for in whatever need I may have, four weeks giving me protection, dedication and authentic selfless love. The last days given to me to look straight into my own mirror, my mind, my thoughts, my behavior, my patterns, my judgement.  Washing my clothes in the garden in the short period of sun, it takes only one minute before my love and humble teacher, appears next to me: „Do you need help?“. Every time he would come when he sees me doing my laundry, even working hard, on building the new two story yoga shed. I smile at him, I hug and kiss him...