It's 11 in the morning. I'm sitting in the sun on my balcony. My perfect little life. The real life. I sit on a little meditation pillow against the wall. It's cold in my back, I get another blanket to cover my kidneys. If there is something we have plenty of it's pillows and blankets. I'm awake for about four hours now. Early morning as usual. My stomach still feels a little bit off. Subtle notions of sickness still lingering inside my belly, lightheaded and slightly tired I can tell I am not completely on top of my game again. After a few days of cold I thought I'd be mastering my little visitor quite well. Collecting half the pharmacy of ayurvedic pills, drops and candies, powders and balms, I was sure to be fine within a couple of days. Being in my absolute favorite home space, my real life bubble, waking up to cook my ginger honey lemon instead of my beloved milk coffee is already one of the strongest indicators that something is changing within me. It may...
An even more beautiful woman wearing the top ❤️❤️❤️ That's when I realize he is nothing special. In her tears, through her tears. In the mirror of her heartbreaking existential pain, I find my own. We cannot reach them she says. And so she is right. Go to the mountain and scream it out but don’t talk to him. Nothing you say will ever reach him. I wish you never waste a single drop of energy on him again. I hope this was the last encounter with him in your life. Mirrors mirrors mirrors all the same. My own messages returned to me by them. Like when I told her a month ago that I saw so many similarities to my story and that I am afraid that this really is only an illusion as I had to learn it the hard way myself. Not once. Not twice... Here we are today. Trice. In the expected situation. Only hers is acute and mine is old and dormant. Dead. Disappearing. Ghosting. All he knows how to do. Please don’t disappear again he says before I am leaving. Only a sh...
Now that the kings have fallen, the queen is rising, Bengaluru calling. The air is dense, the sky is grey, my body tense from the shades of day. Loneliness, the thickness of winter slowly spreading through my body and mind. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't know how to be kind. Waking up in the morning, the mist in the air, meeting her in the kitchen where she's prepared her pumpkin pie, brewing coffee, playing with the dogs, home, my. She makes it home, she shares her home, with me in this time. She creates a warmth we need in this time, washing away my loneliness, the fine. How did you sleep she will want to know every morning, making this a better day than it would have been without her. I hear Bengaluru calling. Haunted by the rumbling activity of my mind, reminding me of the hardships of life, this darkness of the winter season living through me in the nights. Making me want to sleep through time and yet Bengaluru is calling. Gathering my assets the challenge is brin...
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