Season of Change

 Saturday: 1.30pm

Confused sadness. But no negativity. Being around now for a few weeks being in complete and total love at all times I felt that subliminal sadness crawling inside of me last night, slowly and noticeable. It's no suffering, I don't feel darkness or pain I just feel this longing inside of me to belong. Belonging. To a place, a person for that matter. Being surrounded by amazingly beautiful people spreading their love has made it more than easy for me to be in mine as well...

Last night as I went to his place with my most lovely friends, my hearts, my lovers, my most beloved people that I could never get tired of spending time with growing, laughing, sharing at all times in the most connected sense I have known or felt..it could not interrupt the sadness quietly moving through me into my heart feeling this tiny empty spot, this whole, this dark cave that I couldn't shine the light on in the feeling of not being in the place I should be. Even being in the closest embrace of my favorite loving mirror, laying closely in warmth our bodies melting together wouldn't cure my sadness. Having my amazing hearts wanting to share their time together in intimacy and my rediscovered friend from last year needing his space there is none for me anymore. And it's not because they don't love me but quite the opposite. It lies in the nature of humans. As we all do they need space, I need space. It's the timing that at the moment I cannot be in the same space as them because all of us would feel overcrowded, tied, uncomfortable.

Cut: Half a day later: 7.15pm

Apparently my shout out to the Universe was once again heard and answered instantly. Being in the wish of having had the chance to spend more time with my precious encounter from last summer reconnecting, it seems it hadn't been the time for me or him. At the same time accepting my sadness about the timing not being on the side of my feelings towards the situation I opened up to other possibilities outside of my range to see or feel. Researching, apping, opening doors and just like all miracles happen, a door opened widely just a few minutes later taking me on a beautiful Saturday spring hike in this mystical magic forest, only touched by the soft rays of the light early summer sun touching our skin, warming it up from the fresh air that April would still naturally provide. Being in changing season so did my mental state with yet another blessing of the Universe introducing me to another hidden treasure of the beautiful Lugano. Another bright soul on his way to enlightenment, growth, love and peace bringing me back into my right spirits. Finding me back in my natural being of gratitude, trust and openness, feeling the energies emerging through us with us evolving with the Universe into the world. My heart was right back where I had left it and the light returned into my soul. Learning, pouring out my thoughts unfiltered in the kindness, courage and empathy of my encouraging mirror accompanying me in this beautiful surrounding having me pulled out of my little clouded cave of blur. Through the worldly exchange in the outer world my inner world found quietness and peace again regaining the opportunities that life has to offer.

In deep gratitude and another peaceful heart I can close this precious day in thanks to my fresh encounter that made my day shine again. Connecting hearts.

 

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