Happy Birthday

 [31.05.2021]

Berat. Happy Birthday to myself. Sitting in "Eni" Res­taurant. A glass of fresh sparkling wine, moussaka, Dolmar, Fergese and roasted bread in front of me, my stomach almost overly full, the plates as well. The usual. The view on the Incredible rocks of Berat, the old houses climbing up hill, a carriage with an old couple and a child, pulled by a donkey moving by the bridge, the sun shining, temperatures rising, it's 2:30 pm. Afternoon. Albania.  I love this place. So charming, nature, the kindhearted people, as I write "people" the enormously friendly waiter comes up to me asking me about my background, telling me that he is doing social work and gender equality work in Tirana. I Love this place. I don't believe in things or situations happening that some may call "coincidence". Every moment  I'm here I can feel the energy, the field of limitless infor­mation conspiring for me and everyone being on this planet. I have to believe and even more I choose to believe that I am truly connected to each and every thing just like everyone else. That I am right now, right here in the right place, no choice to be made. 

I made that choice an hour ago when I decided to spend that day with myself, letting the Israelis go to Tirana on their own, staying. With myself on my day in this beautiful surrounding dedicating some well needed alone time to myself after four weeks of nearly constant rotation, trying to support, to connect, to build, to arrange, to organize with people, from people, between people, especially my heart Dona, growing closer and closer to­gether, bound to each other in our hearts, through working hand in hand, physically, emotionally, mentally.

Holding our hands, smiling, crying our hearts out, mirroring one another in tears, in laughter together and alone, each morning hugging each other reconnecting our hearts, me preparing breakfast, she

watering the plants, making coffee, serving guests, looking at each other knowingly.

Going through talks, dis­cussions, trying to open up our perspectives breaking through old patterns, finding new solutions, growing, watching people leave every day, breaking our hearts, crying in love. Raising the baby kittens, trying to inte­grate the horse into our community while juggling the different tasks of the daily routine. In the background making plans to create new space, new life, new perspectives for this beautiful place.

Getting out, leaving only physically for a little while my heart still bound to hers, trying to breathe some fresh air, get some new im­pressions, meet new people in different places, the wind taking me to the ocean, the canyon, jumping off the cliff into the fresh water, overcoming once again my fear of heights, making me grow higher, moving me into even colder water of the giant waterfall, waking up my soul, my body and mind, refreshing my mindset, my point of view, my heart. Putting me right here, right now, in this moment, this place, where just this exact second the mom of the waiter who magically created my birthday meal unknowingly what this would mean to me is sitting down next to me, a sip of the same wine in her hands looking at me. "Gezuar" she says. Cheers. To me, the world, my life. Albania.... and my dream of making things happen. Happy Birthday. 

Lina 33