Angels share

As I let your words wash over my broken soul healing, more windows open all at once, love piercing through my heart, finding their way into my soul. "If everyone could have one percent of your love and open heart the world would be beyond imagination". Tears splash out of my eyes, running down my face, my heart crushing. In this moment needing nothing more than this soothing of your warmth. "I'm one of these people who wants to tell you 'ey Lina it's enough. You deserve so much more. I've got nothing but respect how you approach everyone with such an open heart, wanting the best for each and everyone, not receiving the same back at times.'"

Was I just opening my eyes in the most magical place I've entered, having my mental strength put to the test for days, being faced with the fear of death, overcoming difficult trails, the trails of life, weakening weather, freezing, sweating, hurting, being caught in warmth and care. In the loneliest of places, finding the kindest people to save me. Save me from my struggles inside and out. Accompanying this journey of a life time. My journey. Making my heart explode from joy in United happiness. Connecting the all to the greater good, you listen to me making my heart overflow of love, trust and reconnection to all universal power. Only minutes later standing under the waterfall a new yet known voice says: "you're a strong woman". My Soulmind creating the biggest dreams that are yet to come already in existence. 

And right then and there around the bend of the mountain stands this shiny abandoned horse, scared but beautiful. I need a break, I take my water, my apple. I stop. Slowly I go towards you feeling afraid, you are even more. I drop the Apple, you get and eat it. My heart is in flames from all the miracles in the morning before 11:11.

And just then you start walking next to me, opening my mind, giving it new understanding, fresh perspective and all on a sudden I can see clearly. All the rainy clouds, move away, I see the crystal sky, the sun burning down on us. Everything is exactly how it's supposed to be and I start to understand how I did wrong in my thoughts to the person I fell in love with only a few weeks ago. I still feel the same love that will not change. As so many angels were sent my way from all over the world to open my eyes in their clearest voices sharing their divine wisdom with me releasing me from my pain. 

Did I only let my guard of love down shortly in fear, opening the window for old doubt and pain, clouding my connection to YOU, overshadowing my love. Forgive me. "You're only human" She reminds me in exactly the right moment when I was washing myself in blame. Once again. Only one day before I heard these same words out of someone else's mouth catching me right in the same sweet spot of self love and self blame weakening me. The third time in my journey I hear the same words over and over again. Seen by my fellow companions when I cannot. Reminding me of being flesh and blood, a soul, a part of the whole even when I let my guard down, giving in my pain. I forgive myself. I hope YOU will as well. When time's right. I came here to learn will my love remain. 

As the moon starts rising behind the dark mountains of the night sky you gather around me one after another as if I was sitting in a magnetic field of love. Did I release it? Do we all watch the magic of the moon coming into its brightest light slowly moving behind the clouds showing her most beautiful face to us. In unity did we move the clouds to watch this magic in astonishment the light of Luna breaking into all different colors of the universe creating her own halo around her beautiful core like the most beautiful eye looking down on us, protecting us in this most peaceful of nights until we fall asleep in the sky. In the clouds moving into our dreams become reality. Until the next morning. 

Most dangerous bridge ever, built only days before. 






















Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

INDIAN MADNESS - A Personal Story

The Spectrum of (Indian) Madness Introduction This is nothing persona l. One of the sentences I have come to recognize as a red flag for myself as for me this has become very personal. This exact sentence representing the key factor concerning the topic of my writing. Disconnection. Separation. Alienation. Detachment. The whole reason I found myself in urgent need to write about what had become my personal tragedy. This is nothing personal . A sentence I would hear repeatedly from different people, presenting similar behaviors towards me, by far causing me the most hurt coming from the person that mattered the most to me at the time when I was confronted with the topic in a way that I couldn't ignore it anymore. Alongside came also other phrases like have no expectations or this is the right thing to do , all representing the same disconnection in people making things impersonal, creating distance to a certain situation, inside one individual, or between two individuals. T...
Read more

This One‘s for YOU ♥️

Image
  An even more beautiful woman wearing the top ❤️❤️❤️ That's when I realize he is nothing special. In her tears, through her tears. In the mirror of her heartbreaking existential pain, I find my own.  We cannot reach them she says. And so she is right. Go to the mountain and scream it out but don’t talk to him. Nothing you say will ever reach him. I wish  you never waste a single drop of energy on him again. I hope this was the last encounter with him in your life. Mirrors mirrors mirrors all the same.  My own messages returned to me by them.  Like when I told her a month ago that I saw so many similarities to my story and that I am afraid that this really is only an illusion as I had to learn it the hard way myself. Not once. Not twice... Here we are today. Trice. In the expected situation. Only hers is acute and mine is old and dormant. Dead. Disappearing. Ghosting. All he knows how to do. Please don’t disappear again he says before I am leaving. Only a sh...
Read more

Bengaluru calling

 Now that the kings have fallen, the queen is rising, Bengaluru calling. The air is dense, the sky is grey, my body tense from the shades of day. Loneliness, the thickness of winter slowly spreading through my body and mind. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't know how to be kind.  Waking up in the morning, the mist in the air, meeting her in the kitchen where she's prepared her pumpkin pie, brewing coffee, playing with the dogs, home, my. She makes it home, she shares her home, with me in this time. She creates a warmth we need in this time, washing away my loneliness, the fine. How did you sleep she will want to know every morning, making this a better day than it would have been without her. I hear Bengaluru calling. Haunted by the rumbling activity of my mind, reminding me of the hardships of life, this darkness of the winter season living through me in the nights. Making me want to sleep through time and yet Bengaluru is calling. Gathering my assets the challenge is brin...
Read more