A New Arrival

 

Arriving exhausted accompanied by the universe, the world on my shoulders, not as a burden but having it with me, maybe even in my hands. Warm welcoming when the gate is opened for me. Palm trees, a pool that’s lightened up. “Welcome” I get from all sides. Grab a beer, jump into the pool, is exactly what I do. Some short talks, everyone taking a chance to get to know me. I go to bed early, hoping to catch some sleep. Finally. 

Barely functioning but better I get up the next morning slowly making my way down, making myself a coffee, sitting on the couch I meet the girls. Three of them. We talk, we chat, they bring passion fruit. Breakfast. Discussing the plans I get involved and we make our way to the city, finding some food, get the tickets. Down South it’s supposed to go. A big plate of rice in the middle of the table accompanied by tiny silver bowls with sauces, curry, Dhal and vegetables. Sri Lankian Curry. The flavors of Southeast Asia. I missed them. We head back, the climate is making me more tired. The long sleeps of the last weeks paying off.

I take a swim, I chill, trying to adapt, connecting to my friends following me. They tell me their booking was canceled, we come together again for that stay. The Universe has its reasons. I’m grateful and happy to not having to manage these first steps on my own but being in good company. In the same matter my first singhali encounter writes me offering any help he could provide for my trip from the South as he’s from there. I can sense the kindness of the people around me, no I directly experience it. Writing it only moments later I’m thinking about eating my last pieces of chocolate as a voice says: “do you want a banana?” These tiny tasty tropical fruits that I was craving already earlier. I don’t know how but I’ve been handed three of them. “Take one more, they’re are so small” says the kind voice. The next second she tries to fuel her phone it doesn’t work. I show her a little switch, she laughs. One hand washes the other. I have to know no explanation for this as it is truth. 

My past days remind me of being special, the rain has come, the sun has followed me.

It only takes one moment. Down South the coastline we go in the train through the dense juicy green jungle. The view decorated by palm trees, bananas and other plants I’m unable to name. The air becoming stickier, salt on our skin, we get out of the train in the middle of the jungle. Trying to get used to the climate, the surrounding and circumstances I don’t feel like staying very long. Sleeping through to move on I slowly get an idea where to move and how. Running into the huge waves, being thrown around, laughing, like children, drinking fresh juices I’m making a plan. I say it only takes one moment or a person to change your whole experience, and there a new face shows up right next to me introducing us to new ideas, plans and places as I had just minutes before decided to do the same. A happy night making me look forward to new adventures, new experiences and places starting the next day brings me into comfortable dreams. 

I sit on the toilet in my misery and disappointment and there I hear it: “I’m unstoppable, I’m a Porsche with no breaks, I’m invincible and I win every single game” . Has the day not gone the way I wished for again, sitting on the terrace in the tropical heat. It’s only 8pm but it feels like midnight. I’m drowning my drinks. I wanted to have fun on this paradise beach coast. But by myself it makes me feel lonely, disconnected. Like I have no one. I don’t like these places. So detached from all of what the country is. At least I got myself a whiskey in the wine shop and an over priced pack of cigarettes after two days of struggling, leaving the party alone in miscommunication. What lead me to taking the local bus, laying on the terrace with this cute boy, drawing pictures, speaking to my host mom, drinking more drinks and downloading Tinder. Once again. That’s the position now. Sometimes life is like this and lucky me I get to spend time with the SriLankian family which is what I’m here for no matter how lonely I may feel along the way, they’ve picked me up the street today giving me a beautiful place to stay. I’m good I’m safe. In the place I need to be in.