Let them begin

Blank. Tired from the last the day. Finally was I supposed to leave. Where to go? What to do? That’s what the universe thought too. Packing my things, leaving confidently at the same time not completely sure where it would take me I would get stuck after only one hour. I get out the bus where I am supposed to catch the next one down south. Calculations were made without me if that’s even a thing to say. After only minutes different Srilankis had given me the same information that the roads are blocked and there’s no way to go South today. I didn’t hesitate. That was a sign. I buy some samosas and mango and let my new SriLankan friend tell me everything that I should be doing at the moment. A few minutes later I find myself in a Tuktuk to a local guest house of his friends. I can see that this place has not seen tourism. Accommodation is more simple, prices higher, people more curious and eager to spend time. Life is harder here. Nobody ever comes to visit. The beautiful places with all the natural monuments and parks are close by the cities around. People only change busses here as I was supposed to. 

After moving in to my room and drinking a tea we take off to go back to the bus station. I want to see the huge waterfalls only an hour away. He offers countless times to accompany me. To help me hike up, find the right way. While waiting for the bus I will have to convince him that I’ll be fine on my own. 

Getting off the bus I find more locals to be convinced that I need a guide and shouldn’t get lost alone; so I follow the young man who’s already followed me up the hill. 

My brain starts feeling crowded from all the same questions in the very modest broken English I’m confronted with all day since I’ve arrived. Repeating myself over and over again, no matter how nice the question was meant to be. The understanding and difficulties of communication have taken some energy. Nevertheless can I feel my excitement for the upcoming experience climbing up the jungle hills. Nothing short of spectacular views, different water pools, sliding down the rocks into the refreshing water that feels so soothing in the heavy heat. Surrounded by the beautiful green jungle these falls go one into another in a thousand meters height; some for many meters. Even swimming in the pools, sitting on the edges, the water running down my legs, my stomach becomes a bit weak, my view dizzy. High up above the crowns of the trees. The views stunning, more beautiful with each step down. My body and mind slowly becoming tired when for one selfie I catch myself another kiss. Enough for me. My energy shifting into different directions. 

When finally getting back down I feel the activity in my bones, the rain cooling my wet skin and clothes down even more. My body temperature dropping. I have to wait one and a half hour for the last bus, sitting with the guy that wants to marry me and the rest of the group. Finally I drop exhausted into the bus seat to arrive in the dark when my friend is waiting right at the bus door for me. So tired that naturally I just greet him as if I was expecting him to wait for me in the dark after all these hours. He puts me into a Tuktuk and brings me back to my guest house. „I will bring beer and come back in one hour. You can shower and eat dinner, relax“. I guess I cannot reject that. After all the guidance through the day. At 10pm I drop to bed dead. 

I wake up too early. Someone was at the door. I get ready to leave. It’s still early morning. Good for me as the bus ride takes two hours after all. Going through the different accommodation options I find one looking incredibly cozy, jungle view on the tea plantations bungalows. Luxury. I book it. When I see the location on the map I remember. There was this guy asking me to come to his lodge. My first contact through my bestie. I never came. It became strange. He asked me one too many times and then got upset. 

Getting off the bus I have my usual helpers already by my side. Walking me to a local food place where I get served amazing dosa, sitting with the srilankis in plastic chairs, picking me up afterwards, buying chocolates and bananas, I feel ready to go to his Tuktuk. My generous lunch cost me 150 Rupis (40 Cents), unacceptable. I jump in and am excited for my new place. If I had only known what scenario to come next…

Arriving at my new resort my host father brings me a tea and cookies as the volunteers and sons introduce themselves to me. His name sounds familiar. He says: „we know each other Lina you know?!“ Blank space. Again. I look at his face, nothing comes. Shit. He gives me no time to process. „We’re writing on WhatsApp. Your friend’s contact“. All on a sudden the puzzle pieces come together. That’s what I saw on the map earlier. His eco camping right next to this place. „It’s my parents. No one is in the camping at the moment.“ And so the universe also introduces me to my last open window in SriLanka accommodating the most incredible view in a special place of astonishing nature. After making endless jokes about how rude I was and how he thought I was a crazy boring person, he shows me my beautiful spacious bungalow that has a view as if I was looking outside a greenhouse into the dense jungle. Birds flying around, the fog again moving through the hills. 

I send my friend a message, I cannot believe it. For a moment it felt like I could see him through his eyes. I miss him. I also haven’t spoken to him in two years. He’s far. 

I settle in my new bungalow, do yoga, refresh and go back to join the rest of the group. „Come join us whenever you like“. He said. He would tell me a few times more after we ate what was my second dosa with delicious curry. I get the feeling that behind his all sarcastic overly loud mask he wants me to see something else, to get to know him. A game. I tell him part of my story. Some he understood, other parts I got the standard answers I’ve heard before in this country. 

I sleep early and wake up to thick fog, fresh air and a new day in a beautiful environment. 

Going back and forth with the planning I finally let go and it goes back to Ella. I’m tired spending the afternoon in the bungalow after all of us running through the city in the rain. At some point he knocks on my door. „Do you want to join the family for some fast breaking?“. I want to. I’m tired too. „Did I do something wrong to get you upset?“ he’s getting more sensitive for the situation for my withdrawal, spending time on my own. 

My new little friend asking me so many questions, encouraging me, doing yoga with me, scaring me at the breakfast table playing around, brought such warmth and sunlight  into my heart. The tears that have been shed saying goodbye touching my heart, being part of this family of only for a few days. „Lina is sitting next to me Salka. Lina is sitting here. We need her number. Salka please we need her number.“ It reminds me of that time I met this little girl, same age, same scenario. Waiting for me at the boat, telling her mom the same thing. Me needing to visit her, hold her hand. It reminds of all the tiny human beings coming into my life, lightening it up. When I hug him goodbye I almost got a tear in my eye. 

Sitting in the train going back to my magical place I feel I made the right decision. He did not want me to leave. He offered me a few more times to stay, asking why I was leaving. And one more time when I’ve already arrived in Ella. He feels lonely. Same same. It doesn’t feel right for me that way. Never did. I’m happy I followed my gut.

This local train making me climb the steps up with my backpacks to sit at the open door, the fresh morning wind in my hair, the mystical landscape flying by. Maybe that was the only reason to come back to Ella. This fairytale train ride moving me through the green scenery line a nature documentary. 

This day settling me. Reconnecting to everyone and everything. My friend excitedly expecting me, people getting back to me. I’m too much looking forward to the next day. In perfect timing I catch the first bus going south before 7am. I can’t wait to see her again. The bus is packed, I sit on the floor, the sun up high by now beautifully shining through the trees. My heart is warm and full of curiosity for things to happen. The sea, the paradise beaches, a pool, my friend and me. My last days in this country have broken. Let them come. Let them begin.