Thank YOU for being YOU





That was the Dream.

❣️

Two weeks from now. For three weeks I keep having the same dreams. I will be gone. My body. My heart in both worlds.

How much pain must I have caused you ? I’m only starting to imagine when the sun of the dawn is bringing out the gold of my hair. As it is bringing out the golden feelings of what was. The golden moments we shared. The loving words you were showering over me, meeting my deepest longings. 

More and more I step away from my own world of what pain you’ve caused me, asking myself what pain I may have caused you. How deep it could be. How I wish I was the one to hold your hand, embracing you throughout the nights, making it go away. But I’m not. I’m the one who brought out the hurt in you. Took your lightness on days, made you run away from me. Too heavy was the burden for you. How much I still feel. How much gratitude I feel for your courage to face me. To come to get to know me without knowing what you got yourself into. Such a deep heart, such determination to find love in the sparkle of an eye. Without knowing who I was going to be. You came to embrace me with all that I am, even if it turned out to be too much. Too much for now. 


If I was given one last chance to convey my love to you, to make you understand how worthy you are of everything you’ve ever dreamed of, how beautiful you are exactly as you are, how much I admire your existence that I seem not to have thanked you for enough…maybe you haven’t felt seen. Maybe I wasn’t tender enough with your fragile soul that’s so full of love. Maybe I was too cold, maybe I couldn’t connect to you how you deserve it. All I know is that you deserve all the love in the world. Love is real. I wish I could look you into your eyes for one last time and tell you how sorry I am for things haven’t turned out how you dreamt them to be. 


I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve been causing you in my overwhelming energy, pushing you over your limits, driving you away from me. 

I will not stop loving you for you came to love me. Thank YOU for being YOU. 

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