The Magic Camp

Honking he’s passing by in his old VW bus, my friend pointing to me. Lina I’m coming he yells out of the window. I guess that’s what I liked about him. His energy that was all, even when I don’t know him. I wanna only to give you a hug. And that’s all it was. A few moments, a drink, a long warm, excited hug. The merging of energies, not only us but our British bestest. As if we’ve called it. It’s short, it’s fun, it’s all I needed, making me happy. The different contacts coming together in a special moment. I want to see you again. That moment would come sooner than expected minutes later at the beach when as every day we go to refresh our hot bodies from the burning sun. 

I see his car coming as his rafting crew arrives. I fight my way out of the water to give him another wet hug. Is this your wife? I’m already running back to the shore laughing. No I yell towards him, with my back turned to the traveler. 

We go back, the sun is stronger than the days before, challenging every step. I want ice cream. As every day our British friend is going to lunch. We jump in his big black van and join him for the river restaurant, meeting friends finishing with. Yes a big ice cream. As always it’s his treat. So much kindness. „I love you so much sweetheart. I hope you know that.“ is the last sentence late night after we all enjoy a great birthday party for his mom joining it with the farewell for our lovely helping workawayers who feel like part of the family. Again singing songs to Shaya‘s never ending guitar play, drinking liters of Rakije and wine. It is the full moon night. 

The cake, the canister of ice cream, the laughing, yelling and singing spontaneously created when Jim once again arrives in the evening returning from his rest throwing the cream cake and bucket of ice cream out his van into my hammock. I knew this would mark the beginning of an extra joyful night. Starting with our middle eastern vegan BBQ, ending in joining our multicultural farewell with the Albanian birthday celebration. What a night, what a day. And so my heart was right again pointing out how much he loves me as herself when she sits with me looking into my eyes. I don’t know what it is with you, I see it in your eyes. This special knowledge, this wisdom, your heart I see in no one else. I’m sorry if I worry so much about you sometimes, I love you so so much. I can never take when you hurt, when something happens to you. It’s so much pain for me. I need you to be happy. I still have your voice in my head when I called you in Georgia in the mountains. I can never forget. Her eyes so full of love and care. Happily I recognize how everyone sees the beauty in her as well, cherishing her words, her wisdom, her clever questions about what she perceives around her. Impressive her clarity, her uniqueness. 11:11. Like the young father directing his kind words towards us. 

Thank you for your warm-hearted welcome walk and the good energy. Really impressive how especially you and Dona form this place with your hearts. Only have we visited shortly but I take a lot from it and I feel I’ve also left something that maybe one day wants to be picked up. Maybe the people there are the magic or it is the river and maybe the Vjosë is calling the people who are supposed to meet at her shores. Who knows. ❤️🙏🏻

His words resonating strongly inside of me. It is what I felt that same evening. I could have not found better words for what it is that makes that place. 

Still more than two weeks have passed and on some level they’re getting to me. It’s time for a change. Time to leave for the first time before I become stuck in the same cycles when people start annoying me. When I see them abusive my love‘s benevolence, breaking my heart and my patience. Telling her is the worst but I’ve become responsible for my own well-being and all she wants is for me to enjoy my life. Tears in her eyes. My Lina, I wish I could tell you how important you are to me, how much I love you. You think I am poor but in my heart I am rich for I know you. I have not enough words for my love, I wish to express better for you are my sun, my sky, my diamond, the most special. I always want you to be happy and good. 

I cannot really let it get to me. It’s touching me so deeply, the purity of her love towards me, unconditional, free, whole, complete. Untouchable and unique like she herself is. When I have all my things collected I grab my backpack and walk out the door. She’s breathing deeply, looking after me in worry. Please take care of yourself, tell me when you arrive in Tirana. A bus picks me up. I’m on my way.