The Harvest Moon

11:11. Lina I really want to meet you again and spend muuuuuuch more time with you. I felt one thing from the start, I saw you as a person who has such a deep internal world. Such a sensitive Soul, such a loving soul in this at times tough world. I want to get to know this internal world of yours… Lina I want to have a totally different relationship […] and I know I can’t do it alone either. But we could try it together. […] despite those unpleasant things that happened to you, I feel tons of positive and warm energy that you have inside… your vibe attracts me a lot. A mirror of what’s broken me into the tiniest little pieces two years and two months ago, coming as a reminder, a waving red flag that will have dissolved itself within only 24hours in the same waving colors when the realization that I am a human being who’s had and has a life before that short encounter he perceived as something so special in his world, it all falls apart within less than a minute, never to be heard of him again when I tell him what my last days were about. The illusion of an isolated perfect being crumbling right before him exposing his words as all the opposite of what they mean. Like the one who broke me. When you hear it you must know it comes waving as a large warning sign, never to be repeated again.

Karma. Marshrutka. The place for Magic. Magic that’s again growing throughout the day. My cousin arrives, we’re having dinner, drinks. Back at the guesthouse I run into him when looking for glasses to drink more wine. He’s joining us for two hours. The next morning I find myself tired on our way to beautiful Mestia as it starts hailing messages on me. Synchronization feels like to weak of a word for this kind of energy evolving all around me. My phone doesn’t stop from messages from my new encounter the night before who sounds like he’s so sure that he needs to be with me, ready face whatever that may mean that I am not sure where my heart is in all this anymore. On different channels I receive messages from the others I’ve met the days before. Missing me, looking to move forward with me, our thoughts, minds, hearts all reconnecting in different places as if the strings were pulled by the universe itself to entangle, re- and interconnect me with each one of them at the right time in the right place. The Black Sea, our most favorite village, a future building in front of my eyes, stabilizing more with each person being brought to me day by day. On the break I get a coffee, proud of my Georgian ordering skills, finding my cousin in conversation with the next young man. You found just the right person for that she says as this flow continues as it has for all the past days. He needs me for this as the sweet girl from the day before and the one I sent at first. Like all the ones I met. We will need each other was what I heard before I left and here we are again. 

Finally arriving after a wild ride we exchange contacts to meet for dinner, beer, a walk, a talk. Senses are strong for everyone as the second I leave the bus my friend next door seems to sense it. We’re exploring a tiny part the town we’re in, I find myself filled again with wonders. With Magic that becomes even stronger when the night is breaking and we walk back uphill to our incredible guesthouse. 

The female cycle synchronized with the universe when the full moon starts rising majestically behind the dark mountains of the night. Full harvest moon. The Magic of the day finding its peak. The most powerful moon in a while, explaining all this strong energy surrounding me when the blood becomes mixed with movement of the ocean. The harvest. My harvest, finally reaping what I sow.

The next day with the early full moon the intense connective energy is ebbing away as well. The tide lowering to its natural balance. Equanimity. Only the ones staying who truly are there for the right reasons. 

Like our personal stalker from the first day she landed, bringing him from home. My home actually. Directly following each and every of our steps. From the Berlin hill, to the first Georgian city, to have dinner in the same restaurant, take the same Marshrutka when I first see him. I look at him directly, 48hours ago. What’s your name? I ask Lucas. What? He says when he sees the confused look in my eyes. You look like you’re disappointed. I’m most certainly not. Lucas with a “c”. Beautiful name. Only 24 hours earlier someone with the same name has reached out to me. At this point I don’t know that we will start off our journey together. A God sent gift reminding me of my favorite who left me two weeks before, making me laugh the same with his smooth sense of humor, giving me the same light happy feeling in my heart. 

Me doing, what I do best. Guiding through the fairy tale of Svan land. Connecting to nature, the majestic mountains with their various peaks, twin peaks changing colors in the early autumn days like the trees covering the entire area. Two hours of breathing heavy the steep way up this day is bringing its most beautiful self and me to the limits of my energy. The sun bright above us I feel nothing but joy for our companion that is the perfect fit on each step. Light, attentive, sensitive, humorous. Easygoing and sweet. Lucas with a “c”, I could have not chosen a better match for this trip while the person who’s had no more than two hours with me ready to spend a lifetime with me has already faded away in the background of the mountains shielding me for who belongs in my life and who doesn’t. Like the weather changing again as the weather fairy is asking for. Back in her power. The synchronizing Magic of the place that’s home in my heart. I know you’ll make your way. Like two years ago, she has no doubt in me. For me as for her as we are. 

11:11 again. Reconnecting to my friends, early morning call. Do you guys wanna go to Ushguli? Dato is going. The stalking won’t end and so won’t my laughter. Only today we will switch positions accordingly. I ask him to come. He’s already booked the same trip. At the second stop we will continue our consistent flow when I hear his voice behind me. Beautiful picture indeed yes. I turn around bursting into laughter. I knew he was stalking us. I need some me time he says smiling in proper mental health language. My new brother making the only proper move right before entering the holy village. Passing their car to make sure the stalking is in proper order. My cousin starts bursting into laughter. Rightly so. Only so we could find him 30 minutes later waving from the top of a mountain down to us. 

I laugh, today we’re stalking. Running into her husband we hug tightly. You’re back. I laugh so happy to see him. I’m staying I say. We will see, we will see. Going up the stairs to finally meet my first German Georgian friend for five years, we start giggling away, hugging jumping up and down. She’s amazing. Tonight will be our night. Day trip with her husband evening with her and our other friends rebound like when he coincidentally ran into me the day before. Hey Lina. In front of the market. I’m not sure I’ve heard my name right but when I turn around I see my second first friend of Svaneti. Inviting him the same as she did, we will postpone our night for the next. When all of us are in the same place. My enthusiasm knows no limits. How lucky I am having all these friends around me. Brother and sister he says when we hug in front of the tower, trying to make me climb the tower, seeing if my future lies here with a Georgian man. I’m home again.

Exploring my favorite little village, soaking up all the beautiful surrounding, the glacier, we’re slowly coming back when just at the right moment an old dirty car that feels like falling apart every second now, picks us up just before the rain came and so also just before we run into our lost companion on the hill. I can’t hide my smile when only a minute before I was joking of we’re going to pick him up in the cafe. Having our last coffee together we run a bit late waiting for the hot khachapuri back to our car that brings us back in no time. Gathering back up for the evening at my friend’s house. Drinking, eating having both of the Ds joining every now and then, the night becomes late, my eyelids heavy from the abnormal portions of wine and oily cheese bread. Another day that in every detail showed that life is in synchronicity, finding myself rebuilding the connections I started building over five years before, paving my way here and now.

Rounding our trip to Svan land with our local friends, taking the kids, going to the place that made me dissolve into the universe two years before when my heart was heavy. The stunning surrounding, taking me back to a year olds memories, reflecting an almost identical atmosphere, the muddy river rushing down next to me while I’m walking the ever changing colorful first path towards the waterfall. The waterfalls that I will have the most stunning view on across the vast cliffs, standing on a rock opposite the rock face spotting one after another source of water, splashing down the massive wall. I take a moment to breathe before returning to my family that I’ve left behind picking berries until the rain comes, bringing us back just in time. As the weather fairy in the enchanted forest demands it. The perfect ending. Our companion who left us in the morning one day ahead asking for the destination we’re going to right behind him when he has found my Turkish friend at the Black Sea in the place I left five days ago.

Lina I love you. Really I love you. I’m back. In my most favorite place from three weeks. The universe twisted everything possible to make us end up here despite having different plans. Driving around in the rain, lost around the Black Sea, the jungle of the adjarian mountains, slowly getting stressed of not knowing where to go, I send my heart a message. Do you have a room for us? We will be there in 30. 

Jumping out of the taxi, running the few meters to the hostel to get money, I rush through the main door, first running into my first friend, the whole crew sitting right across from me, jumping up the stairs. I need money I say out of breath, smiling at him, without hesitation he’s opening his wallet handing me a note how much do you need? I smile, grab the bill while Mo is running after me, let me help you with the backpack. I start running outside again, him behind me without a question. I laugh, we arrive, I had the taxi driver the money, introducing my cousin to my hostel friend, who’s already taking my bag off of me. It’s the first seconds we come back when I left this place only five days ago, that I feel so excited like there’s no other place I’d rather be in the world.

Returning all together, each moment tops the previous one increasing my euphoria minute by minute. My love grabbing my backpack, Mo is behind me handing me a glass of water. Drink. Take your time. I feel like in a dream where each character is only there to serve exactly every need I have, making me feel -again- like the only thing that matters in this world, like they were waiting only for me to come back all these days. Walking across the yard I wonder where he is taking us, as to when he opens the door we see the most cozy private room, with our own kitchen, my heart again jumping like the universe itself has answered all my prayers. Wow. This is what all the odyssey was about. Trying to hold still through it, the reward we are given, was worth all the discomfort and agitation. We arrived and so does the rain finally when we are at the most safe place, creating waterfalls rushing down in the yard. 

Going back into the main house all the people I love so much, one after another appear, making me laugh. I cannot stop smiling when… someone I know very well, comes walking across the room. Our stalker from the last days. I start jumping up and down, hugging him. I thought that I’ve heard your voices he says smiling. This is Go(o)d. Having a drink behind the bar with my love while the rain is becoming so strong we can barely hear own voices anymore, another friend is joining. I don’t remember him without his working clothes, only when he reminds me I remember his sweet behavior in the night the fancy restaurant. It feels like this place is literally filled only with friends. My friends. The Russian guy learning Georgian, drawing letters, giving me advice of where to find books, the two sweetest hostel staffs, doing everything possible around to make sure I feel welcomed enough back here, our stalker, my Russian friends and… not to forget… when I look over his shoulder on the screen I ask Is this my Desi? My friend from five days ago? - Yes. - Where is she? - I’ll show you, he’s getting up, walking me to her bed. When she sees me, a large smile is crossing her face. Oh my god what are you doing here? I just got here. Wait I’ll come out. Her story of these days are so similar to mine. I feel her agitation, her agony and process. We’re diving deep into our conversation until she has to take rest. I’m so glad to be able to spend time with her again as I run into her the next morning - on the same way. Karma. Again. Say hi to… Lina you really know whole Georgia?! I’m not the only one. Only one day, it will be our way, following her to the place I lived two years ago, returning with new friends and old memories. 

Going to take over the room for yoga, I find the most perfect space in a long time. The apartment from last night when he takes me to the couch as we reconnect, how we left off a few days ago. I missed you so much. I love being near him, knowing that he’s ok. 

Like my Russian friend asking me before going to bed in all earnestness as how he perceives me, making sure I have no problem. I appreciate it. Semi drunk, finally going to bed to kick off the next day just as happy with new plans after finally jumping under the pouring private waterfall nature had created for me inside the city, inside my home, washing off the sweat of my yoga unit. Unity. Body and nature. Im in full synchronicity. 

Getting ready for some cake and stormy beach time, he’s making me a coffee before going as I’m playing some weather fairy magic for us to get a two hour break from the heavy rain, exploring the city that keeps growing closer to my heart, every time I’m visiting. We’re walking the streets that are so full of wonders of strange architecture, subtropical plants, creating a jungle atmosphere and the thunderous sea, crashing against the shore, the wind blowing through our hair. A mix of culinary enjoyment at the cake cafe, nature spectacle at the beach and culture exploring in the museum. Surviving the trip with even getting a glimpse of the sun when as so many times before, a whole is opening up in the midst of the clouds, making the sun shine right into my face, only for a moment. My cousin is the same excited about the place that I am. Nothing in this place anymore that’s not possible. My personal bubble.

Lina do you want? I don’t even know his name but I love figs. Can I take another one? - It’s all for you. Stuffing one more fig into my mouth, he comes kissing my head, finishing the lunch I made for them. A house full of friends, people for me and with me for two nights. Next stop Karma. An old bubble creating new. The music bringing time and spaces together.