Magic Ji

 

Tiny alleys twirling up and down the mountains, dirty roads, cows, dogs, scootys, cars, people, trash… I love this place so much every day finding my way through the chaos of the Magic Jungle. Indescribable for anyone who hasn’t experienced.

That time when the gates have just started opening. Opening with the exit of A. K-A-K-A she says. Summarizing my Indian experience. A-K-SH-K-SH-A. She‘s so right I can see it clearer now. Bringing the one K who loves me for all that time through the years without a condition, bringing back the magic of the Sundays, opening the gate for something so special that I was yet unable to even imagine it happening. I miss you darling. Hey listen I love you. I was missing you a lot so I booked my bus and I am coming to see you for dew hours babe. I will be there in the morning to spend time with you darling. Kisses and more kisses. 

When I open my eyes that Sunday morning I don't believe what I'm reading. I don't know if to be happy or upset about this overly spontaneous appearance from one moment to the next. I feel inside of myself knowing what to do. Nothing. My  purpose was to attend that class that my gut has been telling me would change something for me fundamentally. Yet being unaware of all the ways it would, the ball rolling for the next 48 hours until the season of Change. Having a certainty inside my heart that this was the place I needed to be in. Knowing no responsibility for his decision to show up for me. I need to show up for myself. I may. I do. I change. Transformation. His words exactly two days later when I finally sit in private with Him. Dedication. Taking space, all that space up for myself right there where my smiling begins, ignited by Him. 

Entering the room, catching sight of Him sitting in front of me for the first time, his eyes closed, his aura is making me feel at ease, safe and curious all at the same time. This will become over three hours of life changing practice initiating only the onset of a long new journey with Him. The door opener for a miracle I had been manifesting for  a long time. Three hours between smiles, learning, admiration, tears and goose bumps when he closes the class just like our eyes are, singing with his soothing voice. The sound moving right through me to my bones giving me shivers. I knew it was Him. I knew I was coming back to Him. But then it was Him coming back to me. Only I had no idea at that point.

Leaving the smiles, presenting my own equally to the sun outside I feel fully charged, energetic, magnetic, going into the Secret Garden. The Secret Garden where he's waiting for me but not only him also a story, a story personified. My story mirrored. My last heartbreaking experience of India. The type A who started my journey of learning from the strongest pain, bringing me here, to her. Married, broken, manipulated and abused. Her who has to suffer the pain that I was to escape just early enough before I depended on him to never leave. Bringing me him. K. Sitting again now here in front of me. For me. The one who was there to hold me in that pain until today, waiting for me to give me his warmest smile seeing me, serving me the cappuccinos I enjoy so much while I try to soothe her pain. Her pain that I know all too well yet feeling nothing but gratitude to not having to live through that again.

Completing the circle with my twin flame travel companion finally returning from the cure. We move together as a group in compassion through the day. To the holy river, to feed our tummies and souls and watch the sunset like three Sundays before. In connection we grow, we build happiness and love for one another. Crying she comes to hug me. Thank you so much Lina. You've helped me so much. I'm touched just like later that evening before he leaves when we sit in the same rocks and he keeps repeating how much he loves me, crying as well. All three of them crying for me. For love, for gratitude to have me in their lives. This purity simply streaming, evolving with the Universe only growing stronger throughout the next days. The magic Sunday this time extending into new seasons. Spring season. The Season of New Life. My New Life.

Going home in the dark road I see a message on my phone. I enter my room, I start jumping from one leg to the other, my eyes wide from disbelief. She's looking at me with big question marks in her eyes. I don't believe this. I don't believe this. My excitement flooding out of every pore. India Berlin India. This is how we met. Every time unplanned. Three times meet. Unplanned unexpected, destined. Just in the right time. Out of nowhere just when I drop the one who loves me too much. The last day here. Here in Spiri heaven. One day I still have. It’s early morning when I am already up and he asks to go out and show him around. My new cycle working meticulously well, pushing me out the house to show him all the places I love, those places I spent so much time in. Places that grew close to my heart throughout the three weeks, the places that taught me so much and brought me so much peace. Spaces that filled me with endless new experiences, shifting my views, my perspectives, helping me let go of things, and people accepting life as it is. All in. Full 48 hour power. 

Acceptance is what we speak about. The end of the day. We're drinking. Talking. Like we have all day. When he's openly sharing his thoughts, his life with me, asking for advice, speaking about all the things that I have lived through the last weeks. Mirroring that person I have missed so much within these weeks. I look at him and he reminds me of that feeling in my heart from the first moment I met him. The connection we had and have every time we meet. The ease we have in sharing our hearts and the warm feeling it fills me with. All our day running smoothly from one place to the next. From an early morning dip into the Ganga to my favorite cappuccino, to the restaurant I’ve created my visions in. Introducing my twin flame my heartbroken friend, recharging, detoxing, hiking up the water fall to have the next dip, returning, taking a break of two hours for me to pack. Packing deciding of what to leave. If to leave, where to leave things. I get this feeling in my gut that it's not time. The next morning I will know why. 

That next morning waking up next to him, my head clouded from the Scottish whiskey he's brought for us. Laughing at me. I pack my belongings, one last hug, he’s getting up from the bed to bring me to the door. Who knows when we’ll meet again. Only I know that we will. And  then I remember our talks. Fall time. He's coming to my new home. Almost I forgot. The gates between the worlds just like he is, he will be coming to mine. Getting into the outside world with a cappuccino and a brownie in my hand, holding my brand new yoga mat, the herbal pills and love in my heart that we got together. 

Lina Ji. Did you have your breakfast? Hare Krishna Hari Om Namaskar. It's him. My master. From Sunday. When I felt so much gratitude for having been given the chance to attend one of his classes, totally oblivious to all that it would bring for me within the upcoming 48 hours. 48 hours that would change my life fundamentally. All accumulating so quickly that there's not much time to grasp any of it until I push myself into a break. Staying away from the last hours of taking part of another ceremony with him. Ji. This biggest of opportunities having opened up for me. This morning when I wake up next to him taking a look at my phone the master program offered to me in all the details that I was always imagining my study to look. My enthusiasm, ecstatic, unstoppable, a wave so strong that it would dominate the entire day, lasting even longer. The message clear. Crystal, more transparent than water, more shiny than any diamond. The opportunity I was waiting for for many years. Waiting for the master to appear when yet I knew that he only does when the disciple is ready. Finally I seem to be just in the right balance. So much hard work for all these years now in this last day finding its salvation. All this time I knew I couldn't look for him. I would not find him nowhere since he had to find me. And so he did. That teacher who grounded me back to a beginner. To a curious beginner who wants to start learning. More and more and more. 

Let’s meet and talk about the training. Unique. Testing the participants to their functionality. For their fitness. My head still clouded from the imported booze we inhaled the night before until the messages in the morning shoot me into an even more incredible Universe. A Universe I had need waiting for. In my best condition, light headed, hungry, excited and curious in a hurry before leaving, I go to see him right before noon, trying to manage our trip, and passing by A’s hotel again for I had forgotten her belonging. Yet only another divine fortune in these first hours of the day.

Preparing to go see him, The One I was longing for so many years. Appearing right here and now over night. Magically while I was sleeping. Only slowly clearing up with every sip of my cappuccino, I go to meet him. That meeting that would change my life. My phone bringing more connections back to me. Type As from the last months. From all my different homes, selectively. It must be the energy from the change of calendar. The success season of the Dragon having started only days ago. That night when I let the last type A go. That night when the gate to my year of Success, the year of the wooden Dragon was opened. Just like the monk had told me six years before. That last A bringing me to M-Agic . Marking a new beginning for me. Reminding me again today when he’s showing up in front of the place that I first showed him. My favorite. The cappuccino connection. Making it his favorite. The same situation repeating itself. Another girl getting on the back of his scooty. Another reminder of the same sort exactly like a week before when I let the first one go. Kindly reminding me also this time when I have the brightest smile on my face, the sun itself all over me, he's looking me directly in the eyes. The second time like two days before when I came down walking holding K's hand and he would just get on his bike in front of us. The last one. He was. He is. The last one that I let go to finally make space for Him. The One who I was looking for for so many years. My teacher.

Arriving at the cafe, I feel light and excited. I already have everything I need and more. This place has brought me nothing but blessings. Yet I was to receive the biggest one right here and now. Only now minutes before leaving. When I see him walk up, smiling at me, my heart space warming from the inside in his sight. I wasn't sure to expect him. My all being is becoming bliss. Having him sit down in front of me I have already received all the blessings I've ever wished for no matter what this day would bring. And yet here I was at the start of something tremendous. My life changer. Asking me in his soothing voice how I was doing I tell him in all honesty about my last night. The booze, my friend. He reacts how I would expect any friend, any person who has understood something about life to react. With understanding and support for the freedom of each person to do what makes them happy. If it makes them happy. In trust he's sharing parts of his story, his past life, his drinking habits; sharing our common aggression. These little things we have in common becoming bigger with each word out of his mouth, slowly building up the life for me that I've always dreamed of.

With every word checking another aspect of my dream, completing it wholly. Asking me why I wanted to attend his teachings I give him a brief summary of where I am coming from and what I was looking for in a teacher and life. Explaining to me what this whole month time with him will look like, he's giving me the time frame. He starts earlier. Ten days. I look at him in question. Ten days he says he needs to prepare me even before the actual training will start. I start laughing. The intensity of it all becomes overwhelming. I lean on the balustrade, the sun on my face, I smile in disbelief. My life unfolding in front of me with every word leaving his mouth. Also I suggest you to come here around the 20 March to celebrate Holi festival with us and come to the ecstatic dance session. My heart is overflowing with joy. Ecstatic is what I am, I keep nodding, laughing, reflecting to him that he's literally opening up my dream, realizing it for me in every detail of what I've ever wished for. Is he really inviting me for more time with him and the community? Is he already making me part of the community starting with the season of change? And then when you finish your month, I suggest you do a Vipassana. We all do a Vipassana. Together in Dharamsala. It's peaceful there. This will be the most fun. Sitting ten days in silence with someone you know and you're not even allowed to look at them. His warm smile moving across his face. He thinks it's funny, I think it's funny and I cannot stop laughing. 

My place. In the Himalaya that's brought me so much teachings, my holistic learnings that he now wants to expand and connect to close the circle right there. In silence with him. Full circle. Life Transformation he says and I know, I feel it, I'm already there. My smile so bright not only from the first time I enter his aura, the yoga and smile space. Smiling from the first minute for two days my smile would grow into something vast beyond my physical body, my eyes, my lips, my face. The Universe. Like two days ago when this new cycle started with The Surprise Sunday, the Magical Sunday, another one becoming much bigger than what I've experienced before.

But it doesn’t end there. In October it would be nice if you came back for three months to work with us as a volunteer. He's offering me more time with them. October the next season of Change. I want nothing more. Opening another door. Another door that is not yet the last one. Combining all my studies more holistically than I have in all my wildest dreams he continues into the next year. If you could come in summer, we have the most brilliant Ayurveda cook coming for six weeks to teach. You would love her. The clean eating, the cooking where we could learn to not eat Paratha in the morning, laughingly pointing at my unhealthy, greasy Indian breakfast. I laugh even harder. I'm presenting myself in just the best light today, hungover eating the oily bread that I would reject any other day that I'm eating my fruits and veggies in the morning. Now here my new teacher is getting my most authentic self and he seems to be nonjudgmental of it all. My kind of person. He's offering me a room with kitchen for the time being if I didn't find something else.

I rush down the stairs to get him the down payment while I try to manage to pick up what I forgot at my friend’s hotel. Returning to lay down my payment and say bye to him, he’s opening his arms for me. We hug like long old friends. I feel his arms around me for some seconds, his cheek on me, his lips touching my skin.

Fully content, overwhelmed by all this beautiful energy I run to A's place, where he directly interrupts my stream of words bubbling out of me like the overflowing foam of one of my favorite cappuccinos. Lina look I am very happy for you just hold on for a second. There's madness on the streets in Delhi so I think you should not go by bus. I'm booking a train for the early morning tomorrow, maybe you want to come too. And so as my gut was pointing me before, I go along with what the Universe has given to us. Booking a train, I go to see Magic Ji again. Now I do have the time to see His rooms where he offered me to live. He shows me all the building that's still under construction, showing me the different options, letting me choose in time. Chatting with him again it's finally time to go back home to see my twin, who's been waiting for me. 24 hours apart. With open arms she's receiving me while I don't know where to start to summarize my life changing last 24 hours. Taking space. Taking up all the space around us I feel all the molecules in my body tingling as if I had changed my DNA, my life, manifesting my dream.

We decide to go to THE cappuccino place, that will bring more warmth, more smiles, more love, more gratitude while we exchange our stories of the last day. We cannot believe it. She cannot. I am so happy for you Lina. I really am, she steals my smile. I cannot believe how I showed him to you the first time and you said you wanted to learn from him. You knew it. I knew it. She knew it. She wonders when her time is coming. In the new season I know it.

Leaving behind the things I don't need anymore, I put a smile on someone else's face who overflows with gratitude for my gift to her, making it mine. One last walk down to the holy river to take the water that washes away all our sins and sanctify ourselves, our third eye, dropping water in our faces, laughing on our grounded spirituality after all this time here. Growing together. Our stomachs asking for nourishment, our bodies longing for the tastes of India, we make our way back up.

Praising the food in front of us, saying a prayer, expressing our gratitude for the day. For us, for our journey together, tears splashing out of her eyes. I am so grateful for you she says, I have been learning so much from you. I am so happy for you. So happy. Now I can also not hold back my tears. I reach over the table to hug her. I feel so loved. Her smile, her tears for me, genuine for my journey that became magic, for Him who reminded me of the here and now sanctifying my meal. Giving gratitude to Him. My teacher finally having arrived, his warm, sincere hug when I feel his cheek on mine saying bye for the first time making the Universe sparkle like the brightest star. The third gratitude goes to the third meeting with my friend. My friend who builds the bridges between my original and the home of my choice. Who once again built the bridge between the worlds, showing up out of nowhere only one day before I would leave this holy place. This one day that would change my world forever. Extending it to the next.

The three of us finding ourselves in the train the next early morning. Too early when the alarm rings before 5 am. We all could not catch enough resting. Our sleep too light from all the energy moving around when she’s returned from his singing ceremony at night bringing his energy back into our bed. She’s rolling over to my side. Thank you so much for bringing me this experience I would’ve have had without you. She’s hugging me. I couldn’t make it. Too exhausted, finally needing to lower my energy blinded by His light. Or quite the opposite. Making a blind student see. I send him study books through her for Him to keep them for me. I attach a little note. She’s telling me all about the night and his words laughing. I hand her some cashews. It’s what he said and only a tiny little detail that once more mirrored my exact mindset bearing all my cashews in my snack bag. 

The high energy of the day leaving us exhausted in the dark early morning hours. Yet all happily reunited in our shared story, also leaving this place together off to a new adventure that will start directly two months for where and when it started. The 15 of the month. In our friend‘s house. Only thing’s changed. Our memories we’ve built together, growing closer together in our hearts and understanding for each other. Our experiences meeting wonderful souls in our first two months changing the country for a new beginning. To return. To the new season. Our yogis joining our journey on all channels as we are moving along.