Infinity ♾️ Post Unfiltered

 

Thank you A. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Oh My why don’t you wanna be with me? Mio My Mio. Why did you not wanna get to know me? It’s only 7 but the tears are already awake. No need to wait for them even for a minute. Only one day before when we had this beautiful evening we’re talking about having a picture together and already the next day you look for a reason to get away from me.

Why Oh My why…. Only a week ago you said we could handle both of our emotions. We will find a solution you said. And yet you were a ticking time bomb. And you knew it and you used it. You kept making up reasons for me not to be with you. I will hurt you, I will hurt you. Hurt is inevitable but suffering is a choice. 

You wanted me. You wanted to be with me and yet you chose your made up identity of creating anxieties which are not even existing. Smart you are. Struggling with yourself for no reason when everything was easy and beautiful. Pushing me away when I did nothing wrong to you. 

Rather you choose yourself and your homemade illusions over me. You don’t have the capacity to fight you say but I saw you doing it. Naturally so. It's coming easy to you. More easy than to most. Only you don't want to. I saw it in every detail of your life that you adjusted for me, the tiny things every day that you would do even if they were uncomfortable. You choose. You chose. And you are capable.

You came to know me with the intention of not changing anything. Of staying in your world of anxiety. Peace you want you said connected to a mantra of women bringing drama. Not opening up the space for it to be different. Peace is what my lovely Ami said is what she sees in me and yet You couldn’t.

Schizophrenic is what I hear and it’s not far from the truth. You warned me. You saw the similarities to A, only you run into your own misery knowingly because it feels better, more comfortable, safer even than being with me. I wasn’t the one. A 2.0. BRAVO 😂

I wasn’t the one to bring out in you what it takes to be with someone. Courage. Yes and maybe a tiny little bit of idealism and hope to make it beautiful. Between your struggles I could see also that. It was there in every move you made. It was there in the way you looked at me, spoke to me softly and overwhelmed by your own affection for me. And yet you chose against it. Against me. 

You chose what you’ve learned from the past, that care can be used against you, that it can be thrown in your face, used to pressure you into a commitment you are not seeking. And still this isn’t me. I know it. You know it. And your conscious choice remains to not change your storyline but stay in the same mantras you choose to believe.

I am hurting women. Women bring pain and suffering. I want no more drama in my life. I want peace. In order to achieve peace, I cannot have women in my life. The choice of a coward. And yet you are not. The courage again left on the women’s side. And I cannot even feel anyhow angry at you. Because transparency. I knew it. You told me and yet what you conveyed to me in your every day actions, your words, touch and interactions told me a different story.

Prepare yourself for the fall.

Oh my sweet mousy. I hear her voice almost breaking for me like my own tears. I am so sorry really. This is just not fair. You fight for relationships, for people and friendships and you just don’t get it back. It’s just not fair. It’s so hurtful. Oh it’s just terrible. I wish I could just take you in my arms and hold you and drink a glass of wine with you. It’s breaking my heart Lina. Oh My. You just don’t deserve this. I am so so sorry. I just wish you find someone who treats you like he did but is not ready to let you fall after a few days. Hearing her break for me, fills me with more emotions. I just wish you will find a person who will do the same for you that you give. I just wish this so much for you. Her words, resonating inside my heart. It’s all I feel. 

I still have the best friends in the world. Only they cannot be near me. Only the one person I could have near me as a friend to listen and hold me, denied me his friendship. For taking over what I can handle or not just like A used to do it. Rather run, fly away, protecting yourself instead of the person you care for. 

He would refuse to believe what he felt. The truth of it. Denial of his feelings, believing it gives control, like Alan Watts says when in reality it’s doing the opposite. He knew I was different. You don’t know me is what you kept saying and it’s exactly how I feel. Now. You stopped saying it and I could see you adjusting to the truth of it because we may have known more about each other than others who get to know each other for months or years. No romantic bias but the truth of when two people meet and they have a special connection that they cannot create with everyone. I’m not a romantic you're also declaring to me as a part of your self built identity and mantra. And yet also here you're wrong and also here you are aware. With you I can be a romantic you say. And you are. ჩემი გოგო ❤️

So much you haven't seen of me. So much you didn’t wanna know about me. How I put cinnamon in my coffee before I put it on the stove. All the wonderful stories I have to tell, the amazing people who surround my soul. Anything really. You know.

Do you like coconut? I don’t even know if you like coconut. I love coconut. 

Moments of light and clarity even within only these few days with me, clearly showing that you're capable of everything you want. You have  the capacity, not only the potential but the real capacity. But you choose not to believe it. You choose to go down the path you imagined before meeting me to find peace. Rigidly. And you know. You want to.

And then you don't. It’s a vicious circle. Your vicious circle that you are consciously building. By choice. Only your choice. What I think or feel doesn’t matter. Control. That’s all that matters.

She calls. Her words bringing back my sense of the beauty about life. Uplifting me to where I belong. Her empathy and sensitivity in taking over my pain, soothing my soul, laughing with her. Her sense of me, of knowing and cherishing me, making me laugh. I say he was having a panic attack for me writing about him when there is not a chance anyone besides my friends will ever know who this is even about and I took it off. She is laughing her ass off. She the one who reads every single of my texts. She is laughing so hard when I tell her about how he thought I was putting him on a pedestal, like I'm going to marry him, idealizing him in the text that he got so panicked about. She is still laughing. If I ever read anything like this in your blog, I would know that someone has kidnapped you. That this wasn't you writing. What a burden. For him. Tragic. It feels so good to be seen. Truly be seen for who I am. Having her reading it, feeling exactly how I meant every word, not feeling any of the anxiety notions that he's been reading into it. It is not me. It would be so funny if it wasn’t tragic at the same time. These moments just a week ago when he could laugh about it as he recognized himself inviting me into his life, doing everything HE is running from. Today he’s not laughing anymore and I don’t know why he doesn’t wanna laugh about it but instead chooses to suffer from his own demons. Eat cake. Is what not only she says and I already do. Even with the loss of appetite. You’re just such a great woman! Too hot Lina for everyone, too amazing. Hot Hot Hot rrrrr.... Really. Maybe he was trying to manipulate you into staying with him. She is laughing again and she is serious 😅 Not the first time she's saying it. Like in India how she's celebrating my sexiness... I cannot help but laugh about her honest excitement about my physical appearance. Women's power.

And still just because all my friends see my hotness inside out doesn't mean men understand, truly understand what a gift that is. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, he was not trying to keep me or have any of my qualities. Trying to get rid of me despite his contradicting behavior towards me. I lived before him and I will live after him.

It was only exactly a week ago. Saturday morning same time when we were sitting in the park having coffee and breakfast before you were going home to see your family like you do every weekend. I felt like we’re building something special. Like we are on the same page of just enjoying what we have that is so precious and not just throw it out the window. Something that’s worth keeping. Something that’s worth showing up for. Apparently we weren’t on the same side. Not for you anyways it wasn't worth keeping. Not for you I wasn’t the one to put your shield down and simply enjoy the beauty of life instead of making it complicated. Knowing it’s you, hasn’t stopped you from deciding to keep doing it, no matter what pain it causes. That simply existing and being was enough to create happiness instead of sorrow, without any difficult expectations or pressure. That you created yourself. The complications and hurt. So many tears I have to cry. I want to cry. I choose to cry. For you. Because this is how I felt the beauty in us that I wanted to cultivate and that was taken from me.

My friends not running out of words for me.

It’s crazy. Back then it helped me when my friend told me that it is the first step to do when you want to be with someone who actually can take it. It can be even him in the future, or someone else. I’d wish you someone who will be ready..

Yes being ready. For me. Something that caused him a heart attack before he even got to know me. Projecting on me all his old fears that I tried to hold them peacefully and with a sense of humor like he did with mine. And yet you didn’t let me be there with you holding them. Manage them like you said you would.

Nothing more to say. Your loss. I hope you can live much more peacefully without me in your life as you wished for. I hope you find in yourself what you couldn’t take from me.

OR Maybe I was just delusional. After all who would let someone like me go? Someone so caring,  sincere, honest, beautiful, inspiring, sensitive, intelligent, reflected, sweet... and super hot. Such a powerful woman who every man can just wish for... who in there right mind would let that go if it wasn't for me being delusional? Maybe after all you did not like me. Maybe in the end it was me having an illusion of someone actually seeing me and liking me for who I am and you having illusions of anxiety. Maybe I shall not trust my gut feeling even my intuition and rather look at the facts. After all every single man was able to manipulate me. Why not you as well who is most intelligent and elaborated in everything you think and do? Why would exactly you have been the one to be so stupid to not keep a wonderful thing if you had really liked me and enjoyed the time with me? Why? Right. Everyone asking me this and I have no answer because in my idealistic dreamy mind I thought you actually liked me. But if so there is no sane explanation for what happened. Am I just too naive to learn? How stupid can I be? Again and again and again. 20 years not enough for me still think that someone would actually care about how I feel… and not only about himself..

Asking me to come over to talk when a night before everything was right. When we were talking about pictures, when you said you would send me some of yourself for me to show my friends, sending me messages from the bar with your friends, I could not sense any notion of you planning to get rid of me until you ask me to leave your place in the middle of the night. Just like that. Slowly it must have crept into your mind to just somehow push me away like this and yes why would I even have a say in this? After all you are the one making the decisions about who you want in your life and who not. How you just let me go for no reason. Even saying it yourself as if your subconscious mind was determined to actually cause the turmoil, the drama that hasn't even existed in the first place. The pain that you are causing because of complying with your consciously created anxiety. As if it was more important to you to stick to misery than to accept beauty, ease and peace. The homemade tragedy which you claim is exactly what you don't want. Peace. And yet you create the opposite and I am the one to be the witness of it. 

BRAVO as you would say. And not only bravo because I am the one you sacrificed willingly. Willingly you sacrificed my heart and my mind and my care for you instead of taking on your own responsibility. Bravo is also what you would say cheering for me if you could see how amazingly my friends catch me at the moment if not all of it was fake… Who am I to say. The version of me just being delusional is much more likely than everything I'm trying to wrap my head around. Delusion. That's what it was. Little princess Lina dreaming of someone who will finally come to choose her in his life. As a person. As everyone. Not even as something in particular. For no role, for all the roles you were afraid of I wasn't asking for any of them. Not for being the girlfriend, not the partner or wife or affair or romantic fling or or or. For nothing I asked. I wanted to just be. Because it was bringing me happiness, comfort, ease and pleasure. Growth and inspiration. But you didn't want me. Not now and not before. Why did we even come together?

Looking at myself it's almost pathetic. What was that? Why do I let someone in who tells me from the first day that he will hurt me and that he doesn't want me in his life? Serious question to myself. 😂Why did I not say thank you it was nice meeting you the ... why are you even here with me?

Surely he transmitted way different feelings towards me than what his words warned me of. I should have probably set a boundary and not accept mixed messages. If you don't like me around then why have me around? And if you like me around then why kick me out?

DAY 3

Shit hurts shit hurts shit hurts...

What do I even know about love when no one ever cared to stick around for when they had to face themselves instead of leaving their burden on me? When no one ever cared enough to overcome the obstacles but instead just let me go...

I'm making my coffee. Again I didn't get enough sleep. A guy is coming to the kitchen assuming my alarm is ringing. I come back with him. The alarm is in the room, my phone is not. Classic. It's the phone of the only person who is still sleeping, ringing for minutes and minutes, becoming half an hour. He locked it in. A room full of five awake men. And no one dares to wake up the troublemaker, the one in charge for waking everyone up not just himself. I wake him up, I look at him. The others are looking at me: Do you hear something??? I say. He's oblivious. Is this yours???? Slowly his sleep drunken brain seems to understand what's going on. The guys around me, I cannot help it. Cowards. All of them. Men. Gratefully smiling at me. What a great woman I am. OH man. What the f....

Ah yes and a note from my spirit guide. Ah the gaps between my thoughts. Embrace the chaos. Hmmm that advice I could have given to myself.

Let it hurt. Let it hurt. Let it hurt. He came with this clarity. A clarity I never had for anyone. Especially not for someone that I felt such a connection to. This clarity of NOT wanting to stick around. I have enough people in my life. He knew. My friend is totally irritated. I never heard anything like this she says. No more space for people in your life? WTF. She is not the one saying it out of a lack of loved ones. She has more than enough like I do. And still we met last summer and connected. Connected so beautifully that we chose each other. Because we want to. And besides living a full adventurous life facing the hardship of escorting through Pakistan, she picks up her phone to call me, to hold my pain. To hold me, with all the empathy I could ever imagine. Living it with me without a question. Oh Lina, this pain. Of course I am there for you. Of course you would do the same for me. And so she is right. This needs no explanation for none of my friends or parents who are asking every day how I feel or if they can do anything, calling me, writing me. And not at last my lovely A to the bestest who is moving me to tears when her plane is flying over Georgia and I have this feeling I wasn't closer to her in a long time, she's texting me while being right above my head. You look soooooo beautiful she says when I send her a video on this Sunday morning back in Czech, seeing my own destroyed face I cannot believe she is finding beauty in it. She is reassuring me of it. Between all my friends reflecting my beauty, bringing it out, making me laugh so hard, it’s more difficult to feel heartbroken.

It's like everyone I know can sense what I'm going through. My oldest friend in Georgia reconnected. Always in these times. Every time another Georgian man managed to leave me in pain. Oblivious to how... and why... Oh No not again she says and asks no more questions.

This unfairness. It's so unfair how do I deserve this? How? Why me? Reflection of A in a new way? Same running only consciously and with a warning? Why am I too stupid, too open, too nice, too sensitive and caring? ALL THE TIME. I just don't learn. Twenty years and I never wanted to give up on myself. On my heart and care for others. Slowly I don't see what I should hold on to anymore. 

I thought A broke my spirit but he was just a young idiot who couldn't do better. He tried, he couldn't. 

My Mio he could. I saw it. I saw it every day how he overcame himself. He could. He consciously chose hurting me over correcting his wrongs. He consciously chose to spend time with me, shortly, to then just go after a few days. It's not even been a month or two or anything close where you actually get to know a person where you actually see how things are with each other. NOTHING. Or again maybe I am just being delusional and that's all. There was nothing there. I got fooled by my own soft heart. Once again.

It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. It is what it is. The gaps between the thoughts. Whenever they will finally stop.... When all I want is just go outside, hold his hand and eat ice cream. I know I will most likely never see his face again. Just like this. Radical. Clear and radical.

Listening to another of her half hour messages and she is on point again. It's an interesting coincidence that for some reason in no of my female friendships it's anyhow threatening having highs and lows and misunderstandings. For some reason we all seem to be very stable. Yet when something happens in friendships with men, they tend to become really ugly and push you away. Like you told me with one L, double P only a few weeks ago - and for that matter every single other guy who was ever in my life. They run, they don't care. They go away and turn their back on you. Every word she says on point. She says our friendship wouldn't be breaking just because we have different opinions or one person is feeling bad about something the other did or said. Unless you say I'm going to elect Trump and go shooting small kids, I don't think there is a lot that could happen that would make me walk away. It is astonishing to me how little men can take. She is again so right. I don't wanna trivialize but it as overall experience of my life of how little men can bare. I wish everyone could hear what she has to say. All of it. All the time. Her thoughts worth a bestselling book.

One hundred percent she is speaking from my heart. LOYALTY. Something only few people know how to live. Many would use the word not knowing what it even means. Loyalty does not mean that YOU decide when and how you are loyal but that you actually stick with a person and consider their feelings and opinions the same as your own. That you make decisions together. Always. Not to do it without including the other person. Involvement.

All the inequality between men and women starting exactly there. Women baring all the emotional pain that men avoid. Being cowards choosing their own "peace" over holding space. Holding space all the time for everyone, women nourish, care and consider everyone around them. But when it's time to stand up for her, to protect her, they go. They leave. Like a disease of men that they always choose against themselves. For and against. 

You think you send me away because I was caring? Because I was cooking? Because I put a sprite and chocolates in your fridge? No. You're wrong. Because what kind of paradox is it that you did all the same for me. Even more you did when you pretend that you cannot hold it even? You very well can. You don't want to. All the time men choose to leave the hard part behind for the woman to clean up their mess. 

You going to sleep at night now telling yourself you did me a favor. That you did us a favor. That you protected me from you. But you didn't. You are a coward. You protected yourself. You chose the easy path, the comfortable one, regardless of what's the harm for the other party. I wasn't part of the equation. You excluded me and only considered yourself. Taking the power from me.

You think you were transparent and honest. But this night you left me in the dark. This night ended abruptly and unexpected for me. I wasn't aware that you had me come over to end things with me. I did not know. I even said to you I cannot take no more that night. I cannot handle you kicking me out. But that's exactly what you were going to do. And you kept going around it. Not saying it to my face and then you told me I was drunk and aggressive, trying to turn it around and blame it on me.

Oh how pathetic I felt in that moment. How small and hurt and used. How often I have felt that way when finally again I am in the position where I humiliate myself because I am asking to stay when the other person clearly tells me to leave. Oh that hurt, that I've felt so many times. How degrading, how humiliating. How shameful. You did not care. You did not care to prepare me or include me. You just wanted to get rid of me. That's all. And you very well did. Did with such clarity that there is no doubt left on my side that you didn't want me near you. Yes the world would be a better place if women were more in control and yet you are also one who doesn’t let them. Taking it on you…if I had been the one to decide when to leave or how to leave and not you overwhelming me with your rash decision, kicking me out the same night.

Maybe you need to play around some more out there in this world with women. Have your share of experience in opposition of what you think about yourself. Have some flings, some fun, lightness, something that doesn’t scare you before you can face a woman in your life.

You weren’t for me. The person who is for me, is FOR me.

Lina Lina Lina... Why did you think he wanted you near him when he clearly communicated that he does not? This circle of thoughts it's never ending. And yet it's just one of the same stories in the end.

His alarm rings again. He is still deeply asleep still. I repeat the same thing. Dude... I say dude... The guys in the room still do nothing. Incapability. Frozen, paralyzed like all the time... I find myself smiling. This life is really too beautiful to become upset about people choosing their own misery. Only I need to exclude myself from it for my future encounters... No more using me for your needs and then send me away when I'm not good enough anymore.

It's Day 2. Day 2 and 2 dates. It's like the Universe is overthrowing me with people. All on a sudden from everywhere. They both want to take my hand. I want to be your friend he says meeting again after exactly three years. Almost on the day. I tell him part of my heartbreak. It's been a long time, it's the same topics that move us. But when he hugs me, taking my hand, his cheek on mine he says he doesn't wanna be my friend. He heard me. He has received the message. When I tell him about my new Mantra and the only difference in men being honest about it or not. He is trying to be. I do not want it. Coming to his village. Take a nap together. Sitting next to him in the car, he's smiling at me. You remember three years ago in Albania.. I remember you loved cold water. Everywhere you went inside. I have to laugh, it's like a deja vu. I got the same feeling when he took me on a road trip back then. Here we are three years later. The universe is ironic.

Later that day number two. He's traveled India more than me. I drink one after another. I'm tired and hurt. It’s the same place I met him two weeks ago. The bar tender recognizes me, he’s putting a slice of orange and says it’s on the house. I smile at him. I don’t understand. He smiles back. He says come on it’s just a drink. It’s so nice what you do here. It touches me, all these little gestures people have for me in these days, melting my heart.

At some point he is asking me also. About my heartbreak. No one knows what to do about it. This peace that we are all seeking... And yet the message remains. If he let you go, he didn't want you. Obviously. I don't have to lie to myself anymore about that one. He's sitting next to me, making body contact. I think he wants to soothe my fragile heart. It's almost midnight when I go home.

Finally all that shit that got stuck in me is coming out. Through him. It was necessary.

Good. And the boys are active again. Sunday like Saturday. Seems the Universe awakes with me too early on this Sunday...

Our Sunday. Two weeks ago and one week ago. Only one week ago when I thought I was too tired to come but felt too much how I wanted to spend time with you, overcoming myself, thinking come on you want to see him, go do it, you never know when is the next time although I was sure there were many more to come and yet there weren’t. We never know before and so I’m sitting here one week later glad that I listened to my heart and did what you could not. To come to see you.

It feels like you will just send me a message and ask if I’ll come over tonight so we could sit and talk. But of course you won’t. The decision was too easy too clear for you than to feel any doubt in how you feel or what you do. Already you're fading as if you were a mere imagination.

If I see you somewhere in a bar or something I will be happy to see you is what you say before we part. Rest assured. Not gonna happen. I’m still protecting you while you leave me to myself.

I take out the next romantic novel and start reading while I cannot eat because I was trying to share my food with you. Back on the Gin and Tonic diet. Already lost three days. The irony of the Universe.

I go and share and share and over share until I run out of words and I get a deep sense of clarity. Reasoning and it already feels ok, the puzzle pieces slowly coming together. For me.

I come back. I had my ice cream coffee, I shower, I hang my towel. She looks at me, ბებია, she's cleaning, usually she doesn't speak to me. I have cake for you. She says just like that as if she could sense something too. I guess that cake is needed. Just like that. Just like the drink. The world can sense when someone is in pain. Maybe they can see it in my faint smile that costs me so much of my energy these days. She calls me out, putting this favorite cake of mine. She looks at me hiding away, come here she says in a conspiratorial voice. You want tea or coffee? Go in my kitchen you can have everything. I wonder what has happened. It is something magical these days since he pushed me off, the whole world gathering for me, around me to do me good. BRAVOOOOO.

She's cooking Tqemali. I'll put some in the kitchen for you so you can taste it. I'm bewildered with the Universe. Maybe my magic is slowly returning as I remember this so well. All the ბებიები used to treat me as if I was their own flesh and blood from the first time I entered the country. My blood sugar level rising above and beyond. Maybe that was needed.

~*You're giving me chills at a hundred degrees

It's better than pills how you put me to sleep

Calling your name, the only language I can speak

Taking my breath, a souvenir that you can keep

Giving me chills*~

~*You don't have to say you love me

You don't have to say nothing

You don't have to say you're mine

Honey (ah)

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey (ah)

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do*~

~*I know I could lie but I'm telling the truth

Wherever I go there's a shadow of you

I know I could try looking for something new

But wherever I go, I'll be looking for you

Some people lie but they're looking for magic

Others are quietly going insane

I feel alive when I'm close to the madness

No easy love could ever make me feel the same

I know I could lie, but I won't lie to you

Wherever I go, you're the ghost in the room

I don't even try looking for something new

'Cause wherever I go, I'll be looking for you*~

~*Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter (fighter)

'Cause all my life, I've been fighting

Never felt a feeling of comfort, oh

And all this time, I've been hiding

And I never had someone to call my own, oh nah

I'm so used to sharing

Love only left me alone

But I'm at one with the silence

I found peace in your violence

Can't show me, there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

I found peace in your violence

I'm in need of a savior (savior), but I'm not asking for favors
My whole life, I've felt like a burden
I think too much, and I hate it
I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring
Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence*~

It’s like a f***ing mistake…. What the hell just happened?

Alter ich möchte dich schütteln!!!! Reiß dich doch mal zusammen!!!! Was ist denn da los bei dir??

~*Feeling used, but I'm still missing you

And I can't see the end of this

Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips

And now all this time is passing by

But I still can't seem to tell you why

It hurts me every time I see you

Realize how much I need you

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to, but I can't put nobody else above you

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

I miss you when I can't sleep

Or right after coffee

Or right when I can't eat

I miss you in my front seat

Still got sand in my sweaters

From nights we don't remember

Do you miss me like I miss you?

Fucked around and got attached to you

Friends can break your heart too, and

I'm always tired but never of you

If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit

You're still in love with me but your friends don't know

If u wanted me you would just say so

And if I were you, I would never let me go

I don't mean no harm

I just miss you on my arm

Wedding bells were just alarms

Caution tape around my heart

You ever wonder what we could have been?

You said you wouldn't and you fucking did

Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix

Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing

Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance

I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing

But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings

When love and trust are gone

I guess this is moving on

Everyone I do right does me wrong

So every lonely night, I sing this song*~

First one on the house again. To the broken heart 💔 

Vielleicht hab ich mich auch einfach ein bisschen verrannt…Einbildung ist auch ne Bildung. 🤣 Das war’s dann wohl.