ჩემი გოგოს United

When one door opens...  Along with it, more gates unlock.

I really loved seeing you and talking to you. And I appreciate everything you've done for me today and the days before. And I hope we get a goodbye that reflects that. 

He's smart, referring to our conversation when I told him that M didn't even grand me a proper goodbye for a closure. You really deserved a proper goodbye, another talk with him. It makes everything so much easier to find closure and everyone should have the chance to have it after a break. Everyone is agreeing to that, my friends going into their lives with a lighter heart now. Only I had to find that goodbye for myself because he built a stone wall against me.

My love Lina, I think of you all the time, I'm sorry to hear that your heart is broken, But you are a very smart and wise and very beautiful girl, but not everyone can be as good as you and  they can't stand all your wisdom, my heart. I love you very much, and I have you in my heart. From far away.. Oh it's been a year when I left her. When she cried for the second time after another two years not wanting to let me go. Not knowing how to survive without me. My second mom, my home... She's known all my pain, from the beginning. She reminded me that I was a flower long before him. 

You know my love... Most people who see you, they just see your beautiful energy, like the most beautiful flower. But they don't want to take care of the flower. They don't water it. They pick it to look at it and how beautiful it is but don't let it grow from you roots, don't water it and slowly it's fading away, dying. This is what men do with you. They just want your beauty and then they let you die. I remember her words so well. They made so much sense. I even told him but today I understand that moment he decided to cut me loose nothing we talked about or shared mattered to him anymore. No loyalty, no respect for what was said or done. I learned it from A. Everything can just change within the blink of an eye, they will leave and never look back on you as if you never existed once they got what they needed.

 I go to meet her. That one who set the impulse for all of it to change. Now and here. I sit in front of my favorite ice cream shop like every day now with another person. When she comes around the corner and sees me, she starts running and smiling, coming to hug me. Ah how long it's been I've seen someone this excited for my existence. The rain comes, we change places. I get my favorite. She gets his. In the place that I once had breakfast with him. One beautiful quiet Saturday morning where I felt like we could have something special, that made do things he didn't think he was capable of doing or feeling. One morning.

ჩემი გოფო she reads ironically enough in this place. I tell her about the day before and how I started crying when I read it. In shock of how clearly I described everything going on inside of me, sensing it coming. I cannot believe I was writing this. Just the day before it happened almost a month ago. As if I knew exactly what he was going to do. Feeling it coming in my gut. All this anxiety stirring up in me only a day before when he came to soothe me. I couldn’t remember I wrote this. Now thinking about how he took the screenshots when he was about to break it off to read it the next day, it seems unnatural to me how he could have read this after everything that had happened and not have felt anything. How he could have not gotten back to me, even refuse to speak to me when he had this look into my soul where I spilled it all out for him. Everything that he was about to do only hours later. How cold, cut off and disconnected can a person be to do such a thing? She’s holding my phone, reading the text. Only the beginning I say. She doesn’t look up and reads the whole article. Lina you really should write a book. I couldn’t stop reading. It has such a flow. It’s wonderful really. You have a talent you should publish this. Go write the book in Tusheti. I feel so honored. She’s so talented, so awake, connected and gifted. From her it feels like a reality. A reality to be manifested. More than all the times before when others have told me the same thing.

Don’t you sometimes feel strange and intimidated to know that other people read this? It’s so personal. For me it’s so hard to share this with others. But I will learn how to do this when I write my book. I feel this so much. We’re doing the same things, practicing the same way of life growing authentically as we can into our higher selves while facing all the frustrations that it brings with it. Especially for me in romantic relationships as she points out when she’s starting to introduce my chart. 

 Let’s take off our shoes, it feels nicer, let’s sit down here under the trees. She’s so much like me. I feel so full and happy, rich and trusting in the universe again, sending me her, this one person to mirror me perfectly. We’re getting back to relationships, love, men and when we finishing gossiping about the frustrations of multiple dating, she starts reading my numerology chart. It’s magic. Everything she reads in total synchronicity with my life. Like a witch. She smiles. No coincidence that every other person who gets to know me feels that way about me and she’s bringing back these powerful energies to me. I start feeling truth again about my might, my many talents and qualities she points out. My spirits returning. My connectedness to the Universe that so many people admire me for. It's returning. Evaluating my chart, explaining my life purpose, my gifts and and the obstacles I have to overcome to walk down my destined path. How I am a protector of people and how my mission is to be leading and teaching and most importantly sharing my knowledge, my wisdom to fulfill my divine purpose. Share it with a big crowd, not only myself or friends. Bigger than that into the world with many others. Community. Ah my path that I've been feeling so strongly for the last months. That purpose I want to fulfill. All reflected in her reading. Prosperity will come. Between the age of 36 and 40. Family and sharing, creating. I can’t believe it. Almost scary how accurate it reflects my karmic energies in all the areas of my life. How things just come to me because I don’t have a heavy karmic burden. Except for the love I’m seeking. In this being drawn to emotionally sensitive and wise men who are pulling away when they feel my love I can only shake my head how true this is. Looking at A and M in exactly that way… I sigh… I wanted a closure he didn't want to grant me, I needed to get to my low point and once again pull myself out without his help. I look at it. I'm glad he ditched me like this. If it wasn't for that low of feeling completely defeated, lethargic, lost and lonely, not capable of feeling my own wonderful enthusiasm and euphoria anymore, let alone any sort of happiness, I would have maybe not moved. I may have not made that necessary decision to leave the city behind. Leave behind what wasn't for me, what didn't serve me, what took my last drop of energy, changing me into someone I'm not. I wasn’t overwhelming. I deserved a closure like everyone does. I deserved better and he refused to give me that respect. I became more than that. 

I think he’s coming soon. I feel it. You’ll get to know him. It's not far anymore. Go home write it like you did with ჩემი გოგო. Describe exactly how it will be. She’s laughing Oh these words ჩემი გოგო ჩემი გოგო ჩემი გოგო. I love it so much when a man says them to me. Every man should learn them. She’s laughing again, I’m laughing with her, we're melting away like the coconut oil between my teeth in the morning. Only this time it's not from the blistering Tbilisi summer heat. We are so similar, I have the same warm feeling in my heart about these words. They do something in my heart and so they did in his and yet apparently he shut them out. I can't believe there's is another human soul out there feeling these funny things that I thought were just evoked inside of me. A witch I am. This he also knew. This is why he ran. We’re laughing today with more synchronicity than in the mountains. I'm slowly returning. Coming back once more stronger. Shining in all my bright colors again. Once more with more outlook on this summer with so many open doors that I find it hard not wanting to enter all of them at the same time. For now I know it's time to leave. Leave the city behind and start going for my dream.

Welcome darling 🧡🥰 was happy to share. 

I feel the same. I’m grateful that I met you on my path. I will pray for you and send metta everyday. I feel so happy that I have so many people to pray for 🙏🏻 ❤️☺️May your life will be full of peace, joy and harmony. May time in Tusheti will be nourishing, healing and liberating. See you somewhere somehow. 

Sending love  and hugs ❤️ remember me if you will be hard moments.

Thank you for your wishes, it’s so warm in my heart 💓

And in mine... from the first moment when she showed me the symbol of the rising woman on her arm. Exactly like mine like all the other symbols on her body, just like mine… I knew. She was the one bringing back the connection. Now she’s going where I came from and I’m going where she came from… to be reunited as ჩემი გოგოს ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹