Christmas Callings

 … Christmas Eve take one. Walking up to my place after my two mulled wines figuring that after all it will be an early night, I am proven wrong just in the same moment when my coffee friend is standing in the entrance of his place smiling at me, seeing me walking up towards him. Merry Christmas. You’re not going to any party for Christmas? Come join me and my friends. I smile asking if it was involved drinking. Surely is. Already got the bottles. Well it seems after all it is my calling again. His kind eyes look at me. You know the Universe is always listening. I know. Oh I know so well in this place. I know I know I know. So well. It is. Very obviously Magic is not even the right term. Life in its purest essence. The most realest reality that I’ve known.

I walk back, get changed and return to join him a few minutes later. Slowly a bit stagnant the evening is starting. Snack dishes are slowly covering the table and with the drinks being served the mood is becoming lighter with the minutes, everyone opening up, the girls dancing the energy I’m missing out. My Go, I feel we’re becoming friends. They’re all so welcoming and warm with me. I enjoy the night and leave at the right time before getting too tired when I’m already exhausted.

This place. This place I cannot describe the energy. What was the last time I have felt so alive, connected like everything is just right. As it is. These tiny moments. When I go to the washroom waiting in front of the door, Hare Krishna guy points me to use the man’s washroom despite him being there before me. Opening the door, taking a step in to make sure it is clean enough for me. He’s grabbing a few pieces of paper, wiping the toilet seat for me. I’m laughing. Thanking him. Only here.

So casual all the beauty, the attentiveness and kindness of people in the mirror of the opposites. Every day. This is what used to be my life for so many years. I feel belonging like so many fellow followers around here. We’re all here for the same reasons. Similar stories that make you feel like you’re ok. You’re just where you need to be. 

So much to learn in this life, in this place, unfolding catalyst. Expansion in real time. 

Hare Krishna. Every morning woken up by the sounds of India. Moving forward into the next day, I start slow. I chill. I sit. I read. Master M is joining the place. Like always. My perception has shifted. I’m with myself. I go to get the signature KitKat shake and a piece of Biscoff cheesecake at my GoHomies place. Get some alone time before going to Xmas special torture class. First half is tough, the second I enjoy. Floor work I can do. For the rest my blood cycle is disrupting my stability.

Torture master sees. No class for me the next day. When torture is over he keeps asking if I join Christmas dinner. I say I’ll think about it but I know I need my Paneer in my favorite place. I look at my phone. Tattoo Jo has messaged, asking if we could meet for the sketching. Just the second I want to reply he calls. I tell him I’ll come after food. 

Excitedly I sit in my small dinner room, next to me a girl from class I haven’t met before. We start talking about our favorite teacher. I tell her a bit of his background adding to our admiration for him, going overboard of how much we learn from him, how much progress in no time. How intelligent, how humorous, how humble, how firm and soft at the same time. How attractive they will say. I love her energy. It feels familiar. As if she was a friend already. I feel our similarities in our stories. When she starts telling me her background I realize I’ve heard it before. I remember. I say I’ve heard you give this interview the other day in the same place only we were sitting opposite. I love it. We share a lot. I applaud her for her view on life, for what she’s been through. I understand. 

Suddenly we get interrupted I hear my name, a familiar face is becoming visible behind the curtain. It’s him! My tattoo friend. I smile in surprise. Hey did I tell you where I go eat? No no I just come for chai and then I heard your voice. He’s very happy to see me as am I. It’s different from other times. Extremely light and familiar. His kindness is so warm. We easily flow into topics from one to the next. Unusual and welcome. We can do the sketching here. I have my iPad. I laugh a lot with him. Here now all the channels have opened up to fuse together completing every detail of the picture. Bringing all of the elements together. Every detail. 

He’s looking at my new friend and says You’re famous right? I saw your face. She’s smiling. Yes. There is this one video from the night I arrived when I met this baba at 4am on the streets and he gave me this gift. It went viral, got a million views. I’m laughing. Why? India. Her welcoming. Her belonging. We’re all exchanging our social media for seeing more of the connections. 

While he is sketching, I ask him for my coffee friend as I discover the same kindness is connecting them. As well as similar stories in our history. Just like I told G the night before how I still feel bad getting angry at him this one time at his cafe, Tattoo J now is warming up, rewinding in the same history asking me if I remember how this one night I got so angry at him when he was playing the ukulele, disrupting my sleep. Seems there was a lot of anger in me, taking it out at the boys and there still is. G had been looking at me under his hoodie and said: it’s good you know. We only get angry at people that we’re connected to, that we’re close to, not just anyone because we know they will still like us and be ok. I take that as a compliment for our friendship, now telling J about the night, our connections, the alcohol. He says he has some whiskey. I can come to have it. Meanwhile the night before is reconnecting, asking me if we go for a Christmas party as I get a message from my DJ friend inviting me for his Xmas party. Same place as the night before.

What are the odds of all of this? No. Not odds. This is the mirror of the world, the universe itself showing that everything truly is connected at all times. No matter what. We may not always feel or see it and yet it is a truth.

When we finish showing us our most beautiful mountain nature experiences, discussing our zodiac signs, talking about moments we shared during the last years, we get going. As we are neighbors still and again. Christmas spirit everywhere. Merry Christmas come join our party they greet me when I enter my home. Everything is decorated, sparkling, the staff wearing Santa hats, the music is blasting. 

I do as before. Shower, changing, getting ready. Ready. Ready. For anything. Master N is sending a picture from the restaurant asking again if I’m coming. Not tonight. 

I jump over to Jo’s place as the drink is calling, joining him with his two friends. He’s getting me the bottle while we’re joking around. Everything feels so light. So right. This is my life. When the clock hits 9, I take the rest of the bottle and get going. 

Almost down my date picks me with his scooty. Same place. We arrive. And here we are, my lovely homie is here as well. In his hoodie like the day before. Hey here hello there another hug, we need not to pay entry. I’m in love with the situation. Friends here, there. People who seem to like me here. We go in, I sneak up to my DJ friend, then the spiri guy comes to say hello. 

We’re going out, smoking, they got more drinks. He’s asking me questions, telling me that he was really concerned about me getting home safely the night before that he will be really sad when I’m leaving.  Asking me to have coffee with him the next day. Go eat with him at this restaurant. You have a really beautiful smile. Indian style. We keep drinking. I have a lot. Everyone is sweet. I dance a bit until I feel it’s been enough. Tonight he’s walking me back up. Christmas Eve reunion. Part II. Completed. Everything fulfilled.

The next morning makes it hard for me to get out of bed. Today I can feel the substance in my bones. My eyelids are heavy and so are my limbs. It was worth it. Following the flow. My flow. Flow flowy flow. Today is about Tarot, men, relationships. I look at my new famous friend’s profile and offer her help with her headstand.

Going up the hill for my regular, I can already hear the crowds. Patience is a virtue. And today I can wait. Sweet Bhai Ji must be struggling to serve so many people at the same time and yet you can’t tell. He’s sick, he’s doing his duty without complaining, attentive and reliable as always. I receive messages, one of them giving me a little glimpse into my relationship life, reminding me of so much pain in my past, giving me hope for the future. The same topic will occupy the rest of the afternoon when she texts me that she’s in the cafe next to me just when I am getting up to leave. Timing in action again.

I walk in to the large yard, the resort and find them girls directly. It’s like meeting old friends. Smiling hugging, laughing, it’s back to the topic. She’s reading a text. Indian men. I ask. Surely I’m curious. This is my topic. She’s telling me about the guy who sure enough is my ex host. I had a feeling I would know him. After all…. A… No surprise. We exchange stories. The stories that seem to be so extremely similar. The kind of men we met. Manipulation. Just like the tarot reader was telling me. 

The toughest experiences so similar all around the world between hope and despair. It takes me back to my last biggest heartbreak and heartache that seemed to have left me broken for so long while her texting with her A seems to also not go quite so well. This connection again goes to another one, through our torture master being declared sexy, attractive, maybe from the other side. I can’t believe the things I’m hearing. Astonished.

We’re talking and talking and talking and laughing until it’s time for class. Just not for me. Shoulder. Hangover. Period. I love how cozy I get in my resting time. How my yoga fomo seems to have almost disappeared in contrast to all the times before. There is nothing to miss out on when all the body needs is food and relaxation. I enjoy the time with the video girls and infect the one who reminds me so much of myself with my Jomo. So when it’s finally time for class, the number of students who will be resting instead of tortured has doubled. 

We all have the same direction. Homestay, class, food, cake. We’re all hugging, separating happily. I’m in love. In love with this reality. This reality that is more real than any other one I know. Surrender. As she says the yoga here teaches me all I need. And so it really does. What a very Merry Christmas.