My Spiritual Ego - Morning pages einer Erwachenden

  Being uncovered feels so freeing. It is just every time like a miracle when I yet reveal another trick of my mind/ego. Maybe it could be easier to recognize the ego if it came just in one clear shape as all our other internal organs do to identify it but it doesn't. And this is where I start getting mislead every time. When I try to identify my ego to see where it is trying to cover up my pain or trying to judge over others it instantly changes its form once I start getting a peak of it misguiding me into believe I found my way through my mind into my clear consciousness. But really it just has transformed its shape from one sort of ego into another. So once I start recognizing my pain ego is active and try to lay it open and work with it transforms into my spiritual ego making me believe I revealed its secret and now truly understand my pain and am so enlightened to understand what my pain had been trying to tell me. When I am in my spiritual ego mostly it takes me a lot more ti...

20/02/2021  ...Was I again so full of Love, Joy & Laughter the past days from the communication and Love from these men in my life. It was surely incredible how it all came together again in synchronization of the Universe. I wanna be a dancer. A Dancer, hanging from the ceiling, flying through space in my own show of the Universe, arms spread widely in Love, flying, floating. I can see it I can feel it...shining, smiling, flying around like an Angel. This is what I want and this is what these magical souls who come into my life make me see - believe.  As I had these moments, these feelings of Love. Of being in Love. Of Love. From Love. With Love. Inside of Love. Being Love. He fills my heart with light, joy and warmth. He makes my heart smile. I do. We do. Like a mirror. My heart is laughing ALL THE TIME in LOVE.  Er bringt mein Herz zum Lachen und meine Seele zum Leuchten. Der Klang seiner Stimme hallt in mir wie der sanfte Ton einer Klangschale. Ja er klingt in mir...

Sometimes this thin layer, a dusty cover of darkness or sadness is accompanying me out of nowhere. It's like the energy around me turns from sparkling gold into a light grey like the dust on an old shelve from the attic or the clouds moving through the sky right before it's starting to rain. Like today. I'm tired early these days but my body does not go to sleep. It's this in between state, like floating in space. There is time and there is space but I'm missing the connection to either. Maybe it is because I'm in this state of drastic change synching with the world’s and season of change. Maybe I feel all that. Maybe it’s the stars, maybe it’s my mind which seems kind of blank these days. No intense feelings…I thought. … But then yesterday I get these messages from this guy I hosted at my place not knowing him before for a whole of three days. We got along very well. We shared all our time, we talked a lot, took walks, ate and drank together, exchanged our hear...

  ~ An meine liebe Oma ~ 19/06/2018 Du fehlst mir unfasbar ganz sehr doll. Du warst die tollste Oma, die man sich vorstellen kann. Ich kann mich egal wie sehr ich mich anstrenge, nicht an einen einzigen Moment mit Dir erinnern, der nicht schön gewesen ist. Nie gab es Streit, Tränen oder Ärger. Immer warst Du für mich und für usn alle da. Niemals habe ich einen selbstloseren Menschen kennen gelernt, niemals ein offeneres, gerechteres Herz gesehen. Nie bin ich einem Menschen begegnet, der so viel Verständnis für alles und jeden aufzubringen vermochte. Immer konnte man mit Dir reden Du hast zugehört. Immer konnten wir lachen, ich habe Dir vertraut, weil Du mich nicht verurteilt hast, für nichts was ich getan habe, du warst immer offen und hast mich motiviert, unterstützt – in allem. Uns alle. Ich weiß nicht, wie ein einzelner Mensch es vermag so viel Gutes zu tun, für alle Menschen um sie herum. Immer zu schauen, dass es allen gut geht, immer für Gerechtigkeit zu sorgen u...

 23.02.2019 Mein lieber  Søren, anhand Deiner Nachrichten heute sind mir zum Glück einige Dinge klar geworden. Es war nicht leicht für mich, weil ich Dich sehr mag, doch ich war schon verletzt bevor ich meine erste Nachricht geschrieben habe. Sie hat mich viel Überwindung und Gedankengänge - mit Abstand - gekostet. Ich fragte zuerst meinen Papa, wann man weiß, ob ein Feedback über Verhalten angebracht ist oder wann man es lieber in sein Tagebuch schreibt. Er sagte, am besten wenn es jemand hören möchte .Da du mich am Samstag verabschiedet hast und Dich nicht mehr gemeldet hast, wusste ich dass Du also keine wolltest. Also dachte ich weiter nach. Wie ich mich fühlte, was ich über mein Befinden und meine Seele weiß. Ich war bereits dank deines Abstands so weit zu wissen, dass Du mir nicht gut tust, da Du dich nicht mehr bei mir gemeldet hattest (was mir bereits Samstag klar wurde - allerdings konnte ich dafür keine Gründe erkennen, nicht in unserer gemeinsamen Zeit. Zweit Möglic...

  Like the Day Light and The Dark Night As the Universe itself In its Duality split Parted into Opposites Connected in the Core In the Centre of all Being Duality Interconnecting Brining together what seems to be apart Joining the Fear and the Love The Good in the Evil The Darkness in Light Failure in Success Deception in Sincerity Coming together combining in Balance The Law of Attraction In two different Poles Bipolar – Two – Dimensional Moving together like Molecules Tiny Parts of the Universe Attracted to evolve in ONE meaning Forming a whole – The Energy

 Eyes shutting Down From the Inside Weakness of the Body From the Darkness Rain Grey Cold Boredom Fall Deep Ression Deep in my Body Somewhere not to find In the Core Lost not to be found No negativity But Longing Longing for an unknown Feeling Love Heartfelt Interconnectedness Pure Like Nature itself Strong Now - Past - Future Only ONE Existence In Balance always changing

  This box of Fruits Shaped like a heart Shaped like our heart in the Colour of our blood red – bright The blood flowing Through our body Sometimes rushing Without even being noticed Trillions of Molecules Numbers Life going in circles Black and White Up and Down Good and Bad Like the Universe Opposites but quite the same Balance The Universe has its own shape like Water moving Flowing changing shapes according to Energy Energy of Life never getting lost IN constant movement Constant Development Constant Change Here Now Always Forever On-Going

Spring. The time of Awakening. The time of renewal, refreshing, of letting go of old burdens of the darkness and start blossoming blooming freshly from our ever energetic being just like the flowers slowly making their way up from deep down inside the earth digging all the way through to the surface. Being born into this season, this world for a new cycle of Life. I love this season because it reflects the life force of change. It helps us getting out of our shadows, getting back our natural strength, brighten up again, let go of unnecessary pain and start shining again. Going into the world with fresh energy like a new reborn, being able to conquer anything we want, starting over again into a new cycle of life fresh, motivated, curious, open, powerful supported by the healing soft light of Spring. I wonder sometimes if the season you're born in is the one you feel most connected to. I know this is true for me. I love spring. I prefer it over the other seasons and feel most ho...

  Ich habe jemanden kennen gelernt. Mein Engelswesen. Es ist eine kleine Elfe, eine Fee. Sie verstreut überall Glitzerstaub über den Blumen, schwebt durch den riesigen Garten in meinem Herzen. Sie kennt mich, sie ist ich. Sie passt auf mich auf und wartet auf mich, dass ich mit ihr in Kontakt trete. Sie ist alles, sie ist Licht und Liebe und sie leuchtet. Ich habe sie gesehen, eben gerade beim Meditieren. Ich habe mit ihr gesprochen, nachdem ich heut morgen fast wie ein neuer Mensch erwacht bin im Vergleich zu den letzten zwei Tagen, in denen mich Krankheit überkam. Ich habe sie gefragt wie es sein kann, dass ich mich fühle als wäre die Krankheit schon fast Vergangenheit, ob ich sie denn schon gestern mit meiner Goldrauschatmung so besänftigt hätte, dass sie langsam aus mir gewichen ist. Ich komme mir vor wie eine Betrügerin, eine Hochstaplerin. Besonders in Krankheit und Verletzung. Wie schnell ich jedes Mal genese, egal was die Diagnose ist, kann der Verstand nicht begreifen. W...

31/01/2021 Touched by an Angel. Last night I met the man of my dreams. At least I can say I felt Love, true, connected, kind, passionate, giving love of this person to me. I am still crying in love because I haven't felt this kind of caring Love in a very long time, maybe I haven't ever. Maybe this dream has just revealed what unconditional true free love feels like. I don't know where he came from. He was just there as my teacher. He explained to me what I was asking for without pressure, without judgement, with pure open interest. He would sit down with me and my friends. He would hug me, no embrace me fully and completely, in such a way that I felt safe, warm, protected in his arms. I was home. He didn't care what the rules in the outside world were made of he would just be connected to my emotions instantly each and every second wherever I was and take care of whatever I needed. Our energies were constantly connected. He would sense my need in any moment and ...

In this piece I would like to share story behind the name of my blog .   As I just recently discovered all the Good I thought I was bringing into this world was at times something else. As I was going around half my life, especially the past months, believing I was doing my very best to be the best version of myself that I knew helping people in any way I could think of, supporting them, caring for them, I was most of the time really only serving someone else....My spiritual Ego as Eckhart Tolle called it. When he explained that specific version of Ego all on a sudden I could feel the resonance inside of me instantly and I knew it was my Ego getting caught, getting uncovered. I felt like someone put a flashlight right into my eyes when I have been hiding in the dark for a very long time. I think we all know these moments when suddenly a realisation comes through to us. Either externally or from our deepest Selfs. In this moment I understood something fundamental inside of me. ...

  What’s true in the material world is the opposite of what’s true in the spiritual World.  As I just recently wrote after my discovery in surprise “Pain shared is pain divided. Love shared is Love multiplied”. The conclusion I drew was that everything in the world of which the origin is positive is multiplied by sharing it, growing, exponentiated, increased whereas everything that's rootin in a negative source if we share it is split, divided getting smaller, becoming minimized. What I didn’t do was looking deeper inside my own discovery as where this natural law has its root, its source. I didn’t ask the “Why”-Question. Usually I do ask this question because I wanna go to the root of every circumstance any happening, any phenomenon occurring during our stay on this earth. I am trying to find the cause to the effect. Well this time I didn't until I heard someone saying the answer without knowing it. There is a very simple answer to the "why" which is shown as the tit...

  29/01/2021 „Knowledge comes from the intellectual Mind, Wisdom from within your Heart.“ Feeling the Evolution itself, people open their hearts courageously spreading Love, sharing their Love from deep inside, reconnecting, creating a stream, a flow of pure, bright Love flowing through the Universe without being afraid - coming back into their true being. Courageously and generously bringing the Light back into our Universe. Creating the flood that is needed to rearrange this world off concepts that have created the separation all along. The space that the problems have been created in can*t be the space where the solution is created. Seems this intense vibration is starting to find its way through to more and more souls. A Flood of Love; true, sincere, open and unafraid of being hurt because Love is endless, limitless and unafraid, omnipresent never tired, never scarce. It is the antidote to pain. Love will always survive, that*s her nature. Just as the Human race c...