Rejection is Protection

 ... What a sentence to remember for my obsessive behavior. For my tendency of not letting go or hold on to what I wanted to believe in. What I was hoping for to come. When I see it, when I hear it, when I'm being promised. It all doesn't matter. The moment the door is being slammed in my face I shall remember rejection is protection. From the Universe. Because me personally I seem to be unable at times. Wishing so much for finally receiving what I've been waiting for so long, longing for, my heart aching. It doesn't matter.

Rejection is protection. That shall be my new mantra. As a reminder. A way of living when once again I'm being rejected without seeing it coming. As much as I hope for these times to be over as much as I'm still full of hope for words carrying integrity I understand better especially these days. These days where I have been again rising like a phoenix from the ashes without support from the person who blindsided me. Within my own home. Where I felt I was being supported, loved and seen. I never see it coming and no matter how careful I think I am with my heart I can't even grasp how quickly I'm going down the wrong road again.

Sometimes I feel like it's a curse but then yet again I have to learn my lessons. The midsummer night's lessons. Maybe I should be keeping an eye on these days when temperatures are rising and the minds of people are fiery and they don't even understand themselves what they are promising me under the blistering heat. Only I seem to have a cool not so cool mind to let the words in to then stand alone with them again only a few days later.

Life. Not becoming bitter but taking in my lessons. Learning and learning although I thought I already communicated to the universe that I've had enough life lessons and I would be ready for some commitment, some consistency, integrity and connection that's lasting. Connection that I can trust and rely on. Accountability, responsibility and honesty from the person making promises.

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